Silence

Two weeks ago I was eating dinner in our camp dining hall, and I asked the boy who is always over at our house to move his elbows a little bit. This lead us to a fight. With his ending words saying to a co-worker,  "Well that's all I had to do to get her to stop talking to me" in this cutting hurtful tone.

So I decided if talking to me is so terrible for him, I would stop talking to him. It has been two weeks. And I haven't said a word to him.
TWO WHOLE WEEKS.
TWO WEEKS.

We haven't spoken. I haven't said a word to him; he hasn't said a word to me. We work together in the same building, eat our meals in the same dining hall. Our lives interact all the time in this tiny community that we live in, yet we haven't spoken. I don't know why I am holding onto this fight so well. I don't know this fight I am not letting down, why I need him to say he is sorry before I am ready to speak to him again.

Our relationship has been rough for a while now. He has been treating quite a few people badly for a while now.

I want to make things right, but I don't think I am willing or ready to make the first move. I feel like he needs to figure out whatever is going on with him and say he is sorry first.

I want things to be back to how they were when we first met. I don't want hurtful words to be said to me. I don't want the attitude that he has been giving me to be a part of my life.

Though things have been silence, and hard. I have felt a little stronger. Like I am standing up against letting people hurt me. That I am worth more than someone who can be spoken harshly to on a regular basis.

I don't know how to make things better or if things will ever be better. But I need to figure out what I need to make things better for the future, though.