Seeing only yourself as important #friendsreunion #lifelesson

Our friend's reunion was SO fun. We went hiking, visited a museum with all of these animals, talked, laughed, and drank A LOT of coffee. We truly were having a great time.

Saturday night we were heading out to have some fun downtown. At this point, we have spent a lot of time together, and I think Sarah became overwhelmed by everything happening in her life and lost it a few times while we were downtown- and I was annoyed by here words, they were harsh and cutting to me, not just her complaining. We survived the night with her mood, and we got back to her house. We were sitting down at her kitchen table enjoying some doughnuts that we got from sketchy voodoo doughnuts off of Colfax. She had a complete melt-down.


I love Sarah, but this side of her drives me crazy. I feel like her perspective and words are so false, but I don't know how to tell her that she is completely wrong. She is not up for listening to what other people say, she isn't open to changing, she just needs for people to adapt to how she is. That everyone else needs to change what they are doing to accommodate her and that she will not nor never change.

Sarah is a mess and always has been a mess. She is the friend you know will show up 10+minutes late to any planned event. She is the friend that you fear finding a moldy sandwich under her bed, Always late on projects(or just doesn't do them). She doesn't do anything in the right order. You can't depend on her.

She is the only person I know who still uses the phrase, "I do what I want" when you ask her to help you out with something. Threatens to stick her 6.4-foot dad on you if you challenge her. Her mind and thoughts are so consumed that she is a victim, that she is the exact person that she hates to interact with.

In life, there is a give and take. I don't we should let people just walk all over us. But I think we should take into account when people ask us things. We shouldn't say "I do what I want" to everything. I think it is incredibly rude and immature.

As I write this, I am questioning why I am even friends with Sarah. All the hurtful things are coming over me. She isn't always hurtful. I have guarded myself letting her hurt me starting way back in college. She has lots of energy, funny and does care about me as a person.

But spending this time with her convicted me. I do not want to have any of the characteristics of that pride, bullying, superiority complex and show that to both my close friends and the people that I work with. I do not want to be the person that people are afraid, to be honest with because of how I respond. I am not honest with Sarah because I know she can't handle it.

In one of her stories, she was telling us that her principal was telling her that she needs to step-up her game. That she needs to be way more put-together with how she is changing. Sarah felt like she was already giving 110% and couldn't do anything else and that her school had to adapt to her and how she was doing things.
I never ever want to be at a place where that is my attitude. She was being told that she was falling behind with the other 5 teachers doing the same thing as her, which means the goal was reachable. But she wasn't willing to find a new way to change, just that the whole standard needs to be changed to what she was already doing.

I hope that is never my attitude on my work. I hope that I am always willing and ready to change even when I feel like I have nothing left when conversations like this come up.

I know it is hard. It is a hard thing to do. I struggle all the time because I think my job is hard. But, I need to keep doing what is expected of me or stop doing it. Always seeking to have things benefit me in a selfish way is just really immature.