Ending 2014, starting 2015, cheers🍸

In a couple of hours, we will be ending 2014 and starting 2015. I am so hopeful for 2015.

 I have great goals for my job. I have created this amazing calendar in excel that shows me exactly where I am with income and capacity. (I didn't have this in 2014 and it frequently caused me stress) I am excited for many of our camps, both the returning ones and brand new groups. I am excited about being in year three at the same job, my boss told me he wasn't planning on making any big changes to camp until his third year which we are now entering. 

The Lord has made it clear that I am being prepared for something to come and I excited to see what that is, and it may come this next year, maybe in March. 

I'm excited to grow in my relationship with the Lord. I'm excited to dig into the devotional books I got for Christmas and see what I am going to learn in them. What I am going to learn by the Bible, prayer and experiences this upcoming year. 

I enjoyed 2014. It's sad to see it go, but glad to bring in 2015. So cheers to you 2015🍸/🍸(glasses clink noises--ting,ting) 

Thoughts on salvation

Since that awkward event I went to last week at my parents church, I have been thinking a lot about salvation and what it means to be saved. They showed a video in the middle of that awkward event where they explained that salvation is knowing God. They made it really simple-to be saved we need to know God. 

Is that true?

Can we make salvation that simple? 

Is it fair to have us make it that simple, are we tricking unbelievers if/when we do that? 

I have honestly been wrestling with these questions for a long time. I understand that Jesus died for our sins. That he atones (covers) our debt, so that we may have life- and have it to the full. But, how do we get our debt covered? 

The natural answer that comes to me is: we ask Jesus to forgive us of our sins and that we turn our life over to him we allow him to be the driver of our life, instead of taking our own path. 

Which seems to be true. But this isn't the full and best answer, this isn't what everyone says to that question. 

Like I said, I have been thinking about his a lot, and tonight I read John 8 and these keys about salvation stood out to me:

•we must believe (John 8:23)

•we must follow Him (John 8:12)

•we must hold to Jesus's teachings (John 8:31) 

John 8:34 says it the clearest about salvation: 

It's clear, a slave has no place in the family, but a son belongs in it forever. But how do we actually become sons? And what all is being referenced by the the next line,"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed"

Is this referring to Jesus's death and resurrection?

Is this us seeking salvation from Jesus?

Is it referring to V. 31-32 and telling us to be free we need to hold to Jesus's teaching? 

Is it all of them in one answer? 

I don't have the answer. I haven't looked at Romans for this specific answer, I need to. That book talks about salvation a lot, I haven't even looked at the verses that address adaption and what it looks like to be adapted yet. 

I think often, we want to make it appear and convince to people that following God is simple, easy. But, I find that not to be true. And more than just letting our sin nature take over us hard. But understanding it all. Salvation is hard for me to understand. Jesus's words are hard for me to get the value from. Seeing the Bible as a whole and in the details is also confusing. Having a situation at work, and figuring out what next steps is right, the godly choice, is also hard. 

God didn't give us step by step guide to life via the Bible. He doesn't make everything cyrstal clear for us. He doesn't let me memorize the steps and give me the ability to "up-one" everyone else in the "Christian race" 

But instead I have questions and confusion and a drive to dig in and learn, and gives me opportunities to talk to other believers on these things I'm thinking about. It gives me something to talk about God about and a way for me to faithfully follow. 

Day to day with no Skip...

 Things in my life have been going really well. I am content. I like where I live and having a roommate I enjoy living with. I like my job and how things are going well there. I love my church and the people who I have met there. 

And though everything is going right and life at this present moment is very easy and good. I know that my life isn't settled until Skip is in it. 

In almost any quiet moment I have, I think of him and how everything would be different if he was there, if he was actively a part of my life. I would most likely be missing out on what was going on in front of me right now, and instead be experiencing something completely different. 

Life as I know it: living in America, consistency, comfortable, familiar, and at camp; may disappear when we are married. I think though, having my life radically changing will be easy, because the Lord has now taken years to prepare me for this, and still is preparing me now for it. 

Doing things that are 100% in the Lord's will,oddly doesn't seem hard,it seems so right. I have this surreal sense of confidence, as I KNOW I'm doing things the way of my father instead of my selfish ways.   

As I write this, I have so many Mandy Hale quotes going through my head, I am thankful for her blog and encouragement that she gives through it. I am thankful in knowing that I'm not waiting for my "other half" to become a whole. But that I am be a whole person who wants to share all of me. --- or something like that. 

Skip is on my heart and mind a lot. But I'm not obsessed or anxious over him right now, just excited to see how our story is going to be; hopefully waiting and very curious of how God's plan mixed with our sinful nature is going to produce the end result He has already promised. 

And how the start (first year) of our relationship is going to look-- once I get past the epic Disney movie closing scene that I am sure we will experience. I am positive we are going to have oh so many awkward and funny moments. 

Classic church Christmas

This is my scene from the christmas program at my parents church today. I just can't get over that this church is so classic and picturesque. I feel like I traveled back 40-50 years each time I am there. It was pretty cute. 

Great day

It's been a great day!

I went and saw Annie:

IT'S AMAZING! One of the best movies I have seen. If you haven't seen it, you should. Also, movie tickets are about half the price by my parents than they are in California. 

I feel like stores give away all of their stuff here, you should of seen me at the grocery store. I was blown away how cheap everything is!

I then decorated these cupcakes. Cute right. I like them! 

After supper, I went to a "rock concert" at my parents church building that kinda looks like this. So incredibly awkward. It was terribly uncomfortable. The three band members were so nervous and so wanted to be big stars. They had so much energy and the audience had none. They did a sermon in the middle of their set.So many things in his sermon were theology wrong, but I think the speaker didnt believe wrong things, he just got them all jumbled up with his nerves and it came out wrong. It was one of those great terrible things- oh small towns!

Played wizard with my parents once we got home. Lost terribly but still fun. 

I am so glad that things have changed and that I can now be more real and have fun with my parents. I thinkthey are     changing more than I. But it could be the just the the opposite. Hope I continue to enjoy my time here, I have 15 more days. 

Speaking

My roommate left, and I spent 3-4 evenings home  by myself feeling half content, half lonely. By day 5 I needed a friend, so I insisted that the guy who always comes over come over and hang out with me. We somehow started to get into these huge and heated debates about very non-important things, things like gap years, bible college and if it's okay to fund raise for it, the poor and lazyness. I think this is the first time I realized HOW DIFFERENT we are, and how open we are in our views.  We are really comfortable with each other which means we are real real with each other which means we often bring out the ugly in each other. It's good though, that it doesn't have a long term effect on us. 

It's fun for me to be friends with this random guy and not feel like our relationship may end up in marriage. If fact I love knowing that it won't. I don't have this pressure to change out of my sweatpants when he comes,  or have to have perfect make-up. Because I don't need to impress or woo him. 

I'm at the airport right now. About to fly to my parents house. It seems like I should be overly excited, reflective or just have more emotions about it. But I'm very " what ev"About it,Very funny. 

Cutting idols is harder than cutting Santa Claus out of your life

I have been really into christmas this year, movies, crafts, decorating,kids Sunday school. And in the midst of it I saw a mom's blog on Santa Claus and how mom's should deal with it. I maybe read half a paragraph, but in that paragraph it compared Santa Claus to an idol. And in thinking about it. I think Santa Claus is an idol to us. 

Think about it: 

We become "good" for him. We decorate, write and sing song about him (worship) offer him gifts(milk and cookies) and consume our entire lives around him in the month of December. 

Yes, adults don't actually think this fictional man comes around and deliver us gifts. I don't know if Old Testament people really believed in their gods either, but that it was fun and easy to believe in them, even though it wasn't the most logical. 

believing in Santa is fun, so we pretend that we do. Believing in Santa makes things magical so we participate. Santa is always ACTUALLY real in hallmark movies, so as much as we know he is not, I think a huge part of our population wishes he actually was real. 

And why wouldn't we? Santa is all about serving me. He comes and makes me happy, he gives me the gifts I wanted, and makes my wishes come true. 

Now lots of people, both christians and non-christians, would have issues with taking Santa out of christmas. "He is so fun" "don't deprive your kids from a childhood" "there's nothing wrong in believing in Santa" is common talk.

 I think about my Old Testament Israelite friends and how I so quickly judge them on getting back into the habit of worshiping idols. I don't have Baal in my backyard or know anyone who does, it seems so easy to cut it from my life because I don't live with it. 

But what if I had to cut Santa out of my life? I would have to cut myself off of TV, the radio, facebook, the mall, grocery stores, school, probley even church if I was going to seriously remove Santa from my life. I would be hermit with no real-time entertainment and have to highly sensor the old things I had. Think about the social tabooness that would follow me around. How hard it would be for people to be my friend and think I am a normal person. Think if you had to live in that 24/7. 

We can easy see the flaws of Santa, we buy the gifts Santa gives, and just give him the credit. As adults, we often talk about how he is fake, it is widely accepted. But what if everyone believed he was real as much as we believe he was fake? Would that change and effect how we see Santa as real? Would we start to believe he actually does all these things as a 3 year old does? 

In thinking through this make you understand just a tad how those silly idols was actually huge stumbling blocks to get over and why so many times they weren't able to? 

Christmas crafts and cinema

A while ago my roommate saw on Pinterest that you can use puff paint to make window clings. We made those tonight while we watched "Christmas in Connecticut" both super great. Here are our creations before we remove them from the paper and put them on our windows, hoping they don't fall apart   

Lead a women's Bible study?

I was asked to be a co-leader in the women's bible study I have been attending for the last year. It's really, a small decision, yet, I am having a hard time making it. I really do not want to leave my small group. I love it. I really see myself as weak in leading groups. I'm kinda terrible at it. But, I was asked. It can be a way for me to meet and know more people. It can be a really great time of growth in my life. I haven't really prayed about it, I need to. I feel like coming to this place and blogging about what is going on is a great place where God speaks to me. Where He makes what I need to do known. But, I don't hear that voice right now. My overall feeling is indifferent. I think I should lead, it seems like the right thing to do. But will I be heartbroken if I do? Maybe I'll email The actual leader about my insecurities and concerns.