Skip is Coming Home

Skip is moving back to the United States.

Really soon. In less than a months time.

Part of me is excited. But fear has overtaken me with this news.

Today we Celebrate Easter

Holidays are just different when you are a single adult living away from your family. Today is Easter, the last place that I want to be is at church. Everyone dressed to the T's. Families are abundant and apparent with all the cute couple and family pictures being taken. Being in that setting is just one big fat reminder that I don't fit into that world.
I feel like I have offended lots of people, feel like many are worried about my faith, but I am not going to church today. Instead, I am going to stay home.

Getting Encouragement When You Really Need It.

On Monday, while I was at work, I started a very emo blog post about my worth at the workplace. I struggle a lot in what I am doing and if I should even be doing what I do. Do I qualify, do I need to quit because I am so terrible at what I do.

I had to delete my post; it was a little too emo for me. Clicking the delete button was a symbolic motion for me to throw away these negative thoughts. I needed to make myself move forward and get the things done that I could do on my own (I had a lot of decisions that I needed my manager's approval )

Writing from the heart

I believe that most bloggers read a lot of other people's blogs. It is part of the blogging world, you write for others, you read for others. That hasn't been the case for me at all. I actually, intentionally, do not read blogs very often because it taints my writing experience. I feel the need to have my blog like the other blogs and not exactly what I need it to be. I get sucked into this comparison trap.

I do have one exception though, Mandy Hale's "The Single Women" blog. I read it before I was a blogger and always felt encourage by Mandy, but never I never felt the pressure to make myself look like her. Her writing style makes me inspired by her, but in a way that I am comfortable to be completely myself still.

Feeling Good Even With Other's Good News

This weekend, I have seen a lot of people announce a big change in their life on social media. Quitting jobs, moving, getting engaged, got married, and having a baby.

Our lives are always surrounded by these things, especially if you are Facebook friends with the 20 something crowd, but this weekend seemed to have an extra amount of life change announcements.

The first two announcements that caught my eye were people moving.

Feeling Excessive With Online Shopping.

I feel like I have been a crazy online shopper, like I need to buy something every second. But also, feel discontent at myself for the desire to have things. I also want to get rid of everything and be a minimalist. I feel like I only do and use very little things in life... why do I feel this need to have more?

I think online shopping makes you more aware of where your money is going and what you are buying.

Envious love

I have been really behind in watching the Bachelor. I am watching Monday's episode right now; it is Thursday.

Jojo is coming out of the helicopter and walking towards Ben seeing if she was going to be engaged or not. She says, "I have seen other people's relationships, and I have been so envious of what they have, and now I am at a place with Ben where now other people will be envious of our love." (close paraphrase, I can never actually get a perfect quote down)

hmmm... I think this is a moment when a little too much honesty came out on the Bachelor.

Complete and Full Surrender

This past weekend we had a man show up to camp a few hours early for his check-in. He was so excited to be here.

Megan in our front office and I were talking small talk with him. I asked him how long he has been going to their church and he told me the most amazing story.

Thoughtless Questions Hurt

Not everything that we do is easy. In fact, there are a lot of really hard things.There are hard tasks that we can't take the shortcut to and need to just do it the hard way for a high-quality product.

I overheard a husband and wife argue today. She was asking him very accusing questions of why he spent so much time on a particular task at work when he could do it "this easy way." He answered over and over again with different responses, but they all said this "It needs to be a high-quality product, the shortcuts that you are giving me with make it sub par product."

I am not a fan of the asking accusing questions towards a person who is working at making things great.

The Struggles Of Always Seeking

Yesterday was my last day in #theweektoseek.

I thought it was going to end differently, as in felt like it had an ending. But it didn't. It felt like any other day.

I knew that I didn't want #theweektoseek to be a one-time thing. I want my whole life to be about seeking the Lord, but this week was very specific. I did get answers, I got an overwhelming teaching on a single word, "Obedience" --obedience isn't specific, not at all. But I feel like I know how to be obedient more than when I first notice the theme that the Lord was giving me.

Meetings, Self Diagnosis, Thyroids and Crying

Today I sat in a meeting that was silent for at least 30 minutes.

I don't know if you have ever experienced that. It is really the worst. We had a logistic problem in front of us and didn't have a way to figure it out. So, we sat. in. silence.

We kinda came up with a solution. It may work. But I am so done and over having to problem solve an building that is 3 months past its' completion date. It takes so much out of me. It is so exhausting, and that is not the only thing going on, I have about 40 other moving pieces going on at the same time. I have people annoyed that I don't get back to their emails/phone calls. I sometimes am unable to get back to people for days.

Be your real self.

My mom is pretty amazing. I was talking to her the other night on the phone-- we were talking about her emotions. She has less than most people. My mom has this amazing ability to not be jealous of people. I sometimes joke about how my mom made me insensitive to people's feelings because her feelings are so hard to hurt. She never feels jealous of people. She doesn't feel left out.

From Anger To Skip, --A Mind Jump Night.

Just now I was getting ready for bed, I was very upset. I let the arrogant words of the brand new program hire get to me. In his exit of my house, he managed to stay that the entire purpose of my job is nothing, not like the program that he is about to do.

As I took out my contacts, and brushed my teeth, I was so angry about the situation. It really really really bothers me when people do not see rental retreats as ministry, when they insult the purpose and mission of it.--It is my heart.

While I was washing my face, my mind jumped. Back to the days of living in Denver.

It matters what I do with it. #theweektoseek

My heart seems to be pounding more than it normally does. I finally started Sunday's sermon. It is Thursday, I am a few days late, but I realized I wasn't ready to hear this on Sunday. This wouldn't of impacted me the same way as it does now.
Sunday afternoon is when I started my #theweektoseek. This is everything that I needed to hear--post Sunday morning. It is in incredible how that works out.

There are things in our journey of following Christ that don't make sense to us, that is how the sermon started. Pastor Chris was talking about the Israelite's as they fled Egypt they listened to God and circled back. They made camp in a place were they were most vulnerable.