I'm mad at my boss for booking a 1night retreat in aprilwhen he clearly knows and personally made the rule that we dont book 1 nighters unless its one month away. I'm mad that he is never here, and That im left on my own to all these hard decisions.
I'm mad that ppl who suck still work here.
I want to put my hands up in my air, yell and scream, walk out and walk into a life that is good to me and always fun. I am sick of this stress. I'm sick of failing. I'm sick of this feeling of not even knowing what to do in situations. I'm scared of life. Straight up terrified. I'm sick of facing this life alone, not even able to open up about this fear I have because it's so intense. It's not the big stuff I fear: death, tornados, cancer. Because ppl come aside you and help you with the big stuff. It's the little things that scare me: flat tires, understanding insurance, breaking an arm. These things I don't know how to deal with and really really scare me!
I think if I didn't fear life, I could deal with my anger better right now! I AM SO MAD!! I want to be done with it, but not. I don't know how to drop it, deal with it.. I feel so taken advantage of, under qualified,
I feel like I need to end on a positive note. Like " just keep swimming" or scripture passage, or a cs Lewis quote. But lets just face it. They make us all the more mad in our pitty parties. I don't need to be thrown under the bus even more when I'm mad with something to sooth it over!!
Okay seriously, the girl who sucks just let the third phone line ring til voicemail while the other 2 of us were on the other lines. She serverly sucks!!! "Go do your damn job girl or even better, get the hell out of here" that's what I want to scream at the top of my lungs right now! So dang badly!!
I bet you all are wishing you got to share an office with me today😉
