Guessing the problem.

Do you know the leadership style where they ask you a bunch of questions so that they get you to conclude what they want you to think? They ask you, " What do you think will solve this problem?" where anything could be a right answer, but you know that that person has already answered that question and needs your answer to be the same as theirs?

I hate this! I just want you to tell me what you are thinking in these situations. I don't want to play this guessing game; I don't want you to lead me down trails to show me why the idea I have is wrong to get me to what you think is right.
I am pretty sure there are leadership classes that teach you this techquie. I think they sell it to people because you "discover what the problem is, making you have ownership over it and more willing to work at solving the problem"
This techique just pisses me off! I don't want to problem solve, if you have already done it for me and it just becomes a guessing game. I just want you to tell me what is wrong and then we can take all this time to figure out how to fix it. Coming up with tangalbe ways of moving forward on making things right instead of why things are wrong.

Are you with me on this? Does anyone else feel the same way as me?


This is a constant fight that my boss and I have. He wants me to self-discover issues that are going on. But if it is to a point where I need to come to him and say " I have a problem and I don't know how to fix it" or he comes to me and says 'we have a problem that we need to fix" I don't want to dwell on the problem, I just want answers.
I really do try to solve all of my own problems. but there are just a lot of problems that I don't feel like just having my own opinion in solving will do any good. These conversations is when both of us express anger towards eachother, and I cry like crazy (not because of the anger, but because I am unable to solve my own problems and feel like an utter failure for that)

I am open to problem solving when no one has a hidden agenda, but I don't want to problem solve if one of the people has already done so.

I would much rather be told:
" Becky, I see that you have a problem. I think the real issues of the problem is ______. and that we can solve it by doing _____."

By being presented by this, I feel like I can say,
"yes, that is it, and I like your plan."
"no, I don't think that is the problem, I think _____is the problem" or
"Yes, that is is, but I don't like your plan to resolve it, can we please do something else to fix it?"

I wish they taught you this when they teach you to problem solve. I love when everything is out in the open and you can see what the person is thinking and that I can contribute to it. I feel so much more comfortible in the entire conversation, my emotions don't go quite out of wack because the entire focus goes on fixing the probme instead of identifying the problem.

Two weeks ago, the day that I cried for 5 hours, http://sailinginthewaves.blogspot.com/2016/05/crying-day-out.html#more this was the issue. I felt so overwhelmed, and all my boss wanted me to do is figure out what he figured out the problem was a few days ago. I didn't feel up for it at all. I knew he knew how to make my life better, and I just needed him to tell me, to give me hope.

I think it is good to problem solve, but don't waste people's time by making them guess what you think when there is a problem and just help them to make everything better. You really will make individuals like me so much happier!