Merry Christmas

White Christmas's are the ultimate dream, and most people in southern California never expect it to become a reality.

It snowed last night. The trees are dripping with whiteness and it is a Winter Wonderland at our house.

Build-up of Christmas

I have enjoyed so much of this past month. It's Christmas season, which means that I have had the joy of putting up the tree, decorating it, black Friday deals (and really Target has great deals just about everyday this month) decorating the house, talking to my mom and deciding on presents for my family, baking, decorating more, Christmas movies, and HALLMARK Christmas movies.

This is one of my favorite times of the year, but by the time that I get to December 20th, I am a little over it all. There is so much build-up which I love, but the actual event always seems to be a little bit of a let-down.

Be good with conflict

I am terrible with conflict, I am the  best at just getting mad at people, or sweeping it under the rug or adjusting my expectations so I don't have to deal with issues at hand.

My boss is amazing with conflict. Unreal in how amazing he is at conflict. Whenever I get mad at him, or am just mad in general, or having a rough day, he just knows, I can barely ever get my negative emotions past him (even when I try really really hard to)

Qualifying for the job

Applying for jobs is a "what-if" game, and it makes you oh so vulnerable. The last time that I played this game was this fall and as I went into the adventure, I felt really unsure, but it looked so great. So, as I moved forward, I became a top contender and was offered the job.  Then I turned it down.

I have never turned down a good job in my life. I don't even know if I have ever turned down a job. And the experience was something that I keeps coming up to my mind. 

I keep going into the land of "what-if" and keep thinking about, "who was in second place, who got the job?"

Not Everything Will be What I Think it Will Be.

About a week ago, I opened up a facebook notification that Skip was engaged to the girl he has been dating. In the past, this was my biggest fear, but in the moment, it didn't faze me. I felt prepared for it, I thought it would have happened long before it did. I already gave up on that thought and moved on. 

It did surprise me, how well I took it, I was taken back by my own emotions. It made me question if I was numb to God. I kinda felt like I still didn't know what to do, but I really didn't take time to think about, it was just a passing thought.