Feeling inadequate

Tonight,  I called the fire department, letting them about a medical emergency that was happening. This would be the second time that day that response team would be on grounds tending to a medical emergency that night.
Along with our teen boy who is having a hard time breathing, I was needing to police how large a group's campfire was able to be that night, arrange for a group's late night dessert to be delivered on time, make sure everyone was following the golf cart driving rules.

#byetarget viral viewpoints

This week I have noticed that people have been upset with Target on social media with something with transgender bathrooms. I took the time tonight to see what was going on. Target has changed their policy where transgender individuals can now choose which bathroom they identify with "men" or "women" instead of the gender that they were born with. There are so many people upset about this. They do not want their children/wife sharing the same bathroom with a person of the opposite gender. The reason being that this is how people will become raped and assaulted. The hashtag #byetarget is huge. So many people are sharing that they are over target until this policy get changed.

Here is my thing, though. We do not police bathroom doors at all. There hasn't been a person who stands outside of the bathroom doors anywhere checking ID's of people ensuring that they are using the correct bathroom. At any point of any day, a person can choose to go into the other gender's bathroom. We have an honor code that men only use the men bathroom and women only use the women's bathroom. We do not enforce the rule. It is just something that everyone follows.

Living in Fear

A friend was telling me that it was common in the 1950s and 1960s for women to start their day with a valium each day to take the edge off. It was their way of dealing with the pressure of being the perfect wife, mom, homemaker and career women. It was how they kept themselves pose and under control with all the things that can make you feel crazy.

We don't start our day with valium each day anymore. We either go all natural with our emotions or take a specific anti-depression medicine, that works towards a specific issue, instead of cutting the edge off our entire day.

I'm A Mess, I Can't Do It All, I Think I Need To Quit

"I'm a mess, I can't do it all, I think I need to quit" has been in my head for days now. I haven't written about it because that is what I feel like I always write about, but these thoughts keep building upon each other. I feel like more time that goes by, the more these thoughts become true.

I mess things up big time.

I can't do things on my own; I am not a good problem solver. I don't know how to manage 16 balls in the air at once.

Marry Right

Marriage has been on my mind.

Not exactly my desire to be married or anything with me being married, but merely the subject of marriage.

I was taking to a retreat group leader who was telling me about a camp he is part of planning. It is for couples who are dating each other for the purpose of getting married and is a boot camp to see if they actually are a good match for each other and to see if they should continue to date. 50% of the couples that go through this class break up.

50%!!! 

This stat shocks me!

People Who Just Don't Feel Right...

I have been working with a retreat group that I have never felt right about.

Since we started working together, I have always felt like there very unsure about this group. I could not tell you what is wrong though.

Reflecting on a Perfect Spring Morning

Today is one of those magical days: the birds are literally chirping, I smell the lilac bush spring scent. Wild turkeys are playing in woods right behind me. In the distance, I hear the lawn mower mowing, which is a sound that always warms my heart.
Perfect days aren't rare in Southern California, but today seems like it is a little more perfect.
I have been sitting out at my small white table for about an hour now. Until a few minutes ago, I was here with no technology, just my Bible, Isaiah workbook and a pen. Day 5 each week in my workbook is a reflective day, to go over all the lessons that you have done for the last 4 days and see the big picture of it, with very little prompting from the author.

upgrading my phone

I did something out of character for me on Thursday.

I ordered the brand new iPhone on its release date.

This is very unlike me. I am shocked at myself. I am using my 4s IPhone that I got in 2012, which was also my first iPhone. Most of the time I do not have a personal computer, and until 6 months ago, I never owned a flat screen tv.