Understanding Singleness

The other day, things were kinda chaotic at camp. I wasn't really set-up to work in the gift shop but in the flow of the day I found myself in there for a while.

A church leader (who I do not know) was in the gift shop talking to my boss. They were talking for a really long time, it had to be at least 15 minutes or so.

In their conversation, they were talking about me and my role at camp. My boss is one of those people who always talks up those who works for him, to strangers. He always says things that are way beyond what is true (in the nice way). So he spends a good chunk of their time talking me up and then the flow of the conversation came to where I  could start talking with them.

She was asking me all of these questions that make me feel really insecure in who I am. Never asking if I am married, but just assuming that I am alone, about my life living with roommates. Asking me what school I am going to, what I want to do once I am done with school. All of these questions that makes me feel that the choices I have made for my life are really really insignificant and not good enough. (and it made it all the worst because my boss just said all these nice things about what I do, defining my career at camp to her)


I am so thankful for my boss, after she threw all of these questions that make me feel insignificant, he interrupted her. He took the pressure off of me answering these questions and told here things about me that basically I have worth here.

All those questions that people say, stays with you.  I already have my own doubt if I am doing what I am suppose to be doing in my life. Then those voices add to it. She- who doesn't know me at all, thinks that I need to do something different with my life. That hurts when you feel like you are doing a good thing with your life.

As much as it hurts, I think a lot of it boils down to married people do not understand single people and therefore end up saying things to single people that is really hurtful to them.

I think a lot of married people have no idea how it feels to be a single adult.  And I think what happens is that they think that they get it. They were once single. They didn't get married until they were 22. They had "22 years of their life being single." And they think of anyone that is single as their 22 year old pal. And associate me with everything about their life as a single person.  People treat and expect my life to be that of a 22 year old. They also associate any feelings they had when they were young and single the same as being old and single---but those feelings are SO DIFFERENT!

I try really hard not to be sensitive about it, but it is hard, not to be. I try to reason with it, and think that I don't understand how to married and that I am sure that I have said insulting things to married people before, because I don't understand it. But in all of these thoughts of trying to reason it, I just make myself feel worst about it than better.

In all the hurt feelings I think that I just have to accept that I am going to have hurt feelings and it is okay to feel pain when people say things to you that feel insulting. But even if it hurts you can't let that rob you of who you are.