Giving up Avoiding

It has been 2 1/2 months since my world was rocked from a Facebook post.

For years, I felt confident that I was to marry Skip. Seeing him announce to the world of his new girlfriend seemed to change everything inside of me. I went from feeling hopeful to stupid. I immediate sought the Lord in this. But I stopped. After a week, I put all my feelings to the back of my mind. I didn't pray about it, I didn't think about it. I knew I had feelings there but I avoided them.

Yesterday I had a very relax day, and in the process of that, I realized that it is time to stop avoiding the Skip issue and intentionally pray and seek the Lord over him. Specifically this week have that we my focus.

It is hard. I am really really good at avoiding the subject. It is really hard for me to look at because it is so personal and seems so specific.

I did a grand job of avoiding it yesterday. I binge watched Friends and Fuller House. I didn't think about anything at all because I knew that I need to surrender, really surrender this over to the Lord. So, here I am, day 2 of this week-- Trying again to seek, learn and be vulnerable of what the Lord wants me to do with my singleness and a man named Skip.