That crazy foolish girl looks a lot like me

So I've been watching bachelor in paradise this season. On this show, there is this girl who spent about 4 days with this guy and decided that they are soulmates. 

This girl is CRAZY! The guy told her that they need to not break-up, but get to know other people. So this girl goes out and makes-out with a tool in the ocean- and when her dream guy won't take her back- her craziness REALLY COMES OUT! 

She talks and talks and talks about how she knows they are soul mates, how she needs to go and visualize them together, how she is beside herself because she doesn't know what else to do outside of a lame apology to him....

Her and this guy are obviously not soul mates--it's the bachelor for crying out loud--- but this crazy girl kept reminding me of me. And that's really unsettling. 

I have become a person who really trusts my feelings, I don't apply for jobs if it doesn't feel good when I read the description. I didn't talk to skip for a really long time, because I left like I need not to. 

And I do this not because I'm a "spiritual"

person, but I know that the Holy Spirit is in me and speaks to me and that comes out in my gut reaction and feelings. 

Not talking to skip was really hard on me. Really really hard. But I was obedient in it. 

He post this picture on Facebook earlier this week: 

And that caption made me flip out, I knew he either went on a date or got engaged! But, in seeing this post, i felt like I knew I had permission to FINALLY talk to skip, so I commented on the picture this: 

Which lead to us having an hour-long Facebook message last night. 

He just met a girl, they have been officially dating now for 3 days. And though this is NOT good for me what-so-ever, i am doing okay with the news. 

Part of me feels like a fool, but I know that God is bigger than this relationship, and if they do end up married, God is still my God and he had me on this trust journey for some other reason. 

But I'm not there yet. Him dating is not a game changer for me. It's a hard for me-- I feel a little foolish waiting for a guy in a brand new relationship- but I am not showing God faithfulness if it is really easy and convenient to trust him. 

I'm afraid to tell my friends that skip and I talked last night. 

I feel like skip and I's conversation really indicates to them that I should throw in the towel and move on-- and that hanging on to this is as ridiculous as that bachorette girl hanging into that guy. 

But, The Lord is the game-changer in all of this- he makes things that seem foolish really be all about following HIM. 

I am really thankful that skip himself told me about his new girl, and after all this time of silence we are still friends, and can pick things up where we left off. It may not be the ideal, but it is SO MUCH better than what it could be.