Getting Encouragement When You Really Need It.

On Monday, while I was at work, I started a very emo blog post about my worth at the workplace. I struggle a lot in what I am doing and if I should even be doing what I do. Do I qualify, do I need to quit because I am so terrible at what I do.

I had to delete my post; it was a little too emo for me. Clicking the delete button was a symbolic motion for me to throw away these negative thoughts. I needed to make myself move forward and get the things done that I could do on my own (I had a lot of decisions that I needed my manager's approval )

My boss came in the afternoon. I was still angry at that point; I was angrier then because I had time to feel neglected at that point.

Needless to say, my boss was very very kind and helped me problem-solve and go over all the things that were killing me on the inside that I didn't have answers on. I was even still in a bad mood, and he helped me out with every task but (but one) was knocked out, and the last one was something that my manager and I had to work out. --This is totally not his job anymore, it is my manager's, and he still did that.

So here I am, a really sad worker, who is having serious doubts about my worth about what I am doing about my life having a few moments of encouragement, but overall feeling down going into Wednesday-- mid-morning staff devo.

It is on encouragement.
We got into groups of 8 and were to encourage each other specifically in how our gifts play into the ministry of our camp.

Can we talk about how this is perfect timing?

So I sat at a table with six people that I love working with, and one that I really struggle to work with. We said encouraging things to each other. I  had great thoughts about most of the crew, but  I was struggling with my words, partly because I had one who I didn't have good things to say about and because I felt like they all qualified to be here, and that I needed to go. I was fearful that no one was going to say nice things to me, but just fake words that you know mean nothing. I feared that everyone in the circle thought I shouldn't be at my job anymore.

It worked out that I was last. I think everyone knew I needed encouragement because they said nice things to me. They spent extra time with their words and looked me straight in the eye when they said it.

Walking away from that, I felt so encouraged. I still had doubt on my worth. That doesn't go away in a 30-minute activity, but I did feel stronger. I felt like I am better than the doubt that clutters my mind. I feel able to move and be strong in what I am doing here at camp.