Feeling Excessive With Online Shopping.

I feel like I have been a crazy online shopper, like I need to buy something every second. But also, feel discontent at myself for the desire to have things. I also want to get rid of everything and be a minimalist. I feel like I only do and use very little things in life... why do I feel this need to have more?

I think online shopping makes you more aware of where your money is going and what you are buying.
When I went to the store all the time, I felt like I wasn't buying much and didn't think about how much things cost me. I just threw it in the cart and never actually saw what I got or how much it costs.

Online shopping is easier but you really have to look and see what you are buying. You have a different emotion that goes with it. I make bad purchases both online and in the store. You see the bad ones more frequently when you online shop. You have to wait for it to come and let the UPS man know that you are buying an excessive amount of stuff online.

But in this process of becoming an online shopper, I feel like I have become a better shopper. I almost always buy from Target.com. There is no minimum, free shipping, and free returns. When I know I am about to be out of something (i.e., toilet paper last week) I put it in my cart and check-out. I don't feel this pressure to remember everything when I am actually at the store. I try not to have too many small purchases (wait until I have 4-5 things that I need) but I feel the freedom to get when I need when I remember I need it, not having to make a list and hope I don't forget it when I am at the store. 

This week I made two orders outside of Target. One at Walmart, the other at Amazon. They have minimum amounts that you have to buy to get free shipping. I hate paying for shipping, so find things that I need on their site to make my final purchase. 

I think this is where I feel the pressure of online shopping. "What else do I need?" "Do I really want that, or did you just put that in the cart to get me closer to $50" If I don't get that, what else am I going to put in my cart to get to $50." 

These are all my thoughts that I had with my two shopping carts this week. I wanted Tupperware, alarm clock and vacuum filters, all of these together added up to $50.00 but sadly they weren't all on the same site. The Tubberware I wanted (at the low price) only at Walmart, the other things only at Amazon. So I was looking and deciding what I wanted. 

I am pretty sure my final decisions are things that I indeed want and will use, but I still question if I need them. I still question if I am using my money well. Should I have skipped it all and saved or use my money for something different? Does anyone else struggle with this? Does anyone else feel bad about buying new things even if the majority of those things are just everyday things that you need?

The Purchases I have made in the last 7 days:

Thyroid Test: $70

$200 worth of groceries (I basically didn't buy any groceries in 2.5 months and don't plan to buy any more anytime soon, so this amount seems really low to me) 

Target: Toliet paper, make-up brushes and eye primer, snacks, body wash, HDMI cable,

Walmart: $60 Dream Tupperware, shampoo, conditioner, sweatpants, shorts, sweatshirt (all super cheap on clearance)

Amazon: $50 Vacuum filters, new alarm clock (mine broke after 11 years) fancy sharpie, hammock straps, 

Grammarly: $78 for a whole year of grammar help! (I am excited about this, testing out how much I like this even on this post--Have you tried premium Grammarly? What are your thoughts? I have 6 more days to rethink this purchase)

Even now, looking at the list makes me question how I am spending my money, but I don't know what I would return to do better at saving money. 

My mom has always laughed at how cheap I am, I don't feel like I am super frugal as I use to be. But I feel like a really bad stewart when I look at the "things" my money goes to. Online receipts make it so obvious. I never hang on to paper receipts-- the have a significantly less impact on me.