Coffee last night

I have been making a big deal about everything lately when it comes to ham. And the anticipation of last night coffee date surprising was quite the opposite. It was just something I was going to do, I actually felt like he was going to cancel on me last minute.(and was pissed when he started to play with the details of the plan) but as I drove. I prayed a loud for my anger thoughts, that I would not be pissy at him as I was on the phone. Can I just say, that I LOVE spending time with this guy!! I laugh so hard, I feel so normal, I can even mock him. We spent about 3 hours together, most of which was reliving the pranks of college, but also touching in who we are and where we want to be. I left feeling good. And with a thousand messages from my dear loved friends who have been cheering me on in this process. And as I drove home, I thought about what I would say to my friends about the night. Ham and I are in a good spot! But we are completely in the friends zone. Being in the friends zone bothered me so much until this drive. Now I am forever thankful! The longing of my heart for my first 5 months here was to have a tight guy friend to do be close to and have fun with. Right now I have that. And as much as I denied it, and pretended to move forward, I'm still not done sorting out how God is faithful and how I need to trust him with skip. Surrendering everything to him and walking with him is my biggest struggle, and being in the friends zone with ham is comforting. And I am so glad for this season for now.
Ps: ham and I have been talking so much since last night, he texted me on the way home, we started g-chatting at work today and I know that he isn't walking away from this weird environment we created for ourselves which makes this all the easier to be here now.