Kids???

Oh man, I don't do well with hard questions. And Ham keeps throwing them at me. Last night we were texting, and somehow we got on the subject of having kids. Now, I am one who believes that I can't think or image my kid future, because that's a couple decision not an individual. I also don't see myself living the America dream life. Lets talk about how I butchered that conversation- what I was saying wasn't what I meant and kept digging myself into holes. In the midst of our conversation, he pulls out "brb, I gotta go shower " and then he returns and calls me to explain he thoughts on kids. He doesn't think he would be a good dad. But loves kids, and if he has them he
needs to be fully committed to raise them. From there we went to all the junk in his life, and how incredibly innocent I am. He has a ton of crap trailing behind him. I haven't experience any of that. Where we are now . This spot in our lives that we reconnected, we are on or very near the same path. And I wonder if we will be able to move forward at all together or if our past tracks will just hinder us and trip us up all over the place.
Ps I am certain that he is asking me all these hard questions as a test to see if he wants to move forward with me. Which makes it all the harder to process.