"For The Lord is preparing me"

This has been my answer to almost all the Gideon study questions as I worked through that, and I know they The Lord is preparing me for something. The past couple of weeks, I thought it was The Lord preparing me a way outta here because I was hating every single day so much. 

In the midst of worship today our worship leader told a story of The Lord preparing him for months before somthing really hard and pressing happened to him, and now as he is in that season, he is hanging on to the things The Lord prepared him for. In the drive home from church today. I was telling my boss's wife all that I learned in church and that The Lord is preparing me for something, and that I don't know what it is. ---I have a great fear of what it is. Skip becoming engaged to that Facebook girl (or any girl that's not me) and that my promise won't come to be, for a consequence of my year of disobience, or to show I can trust The Lord even when it doesn't make sense. Whatever the it is. I hope, HOPE it's not that. It has the potential of snapping me, instead of stretching me. 

Lord please have your word be, even in my disobedience!