Story: heart to heart (kinda) with boss

Tonight, I worked late, I was off at 4:30 but stayed until 9:00. I had a lot to do today, but no time to do it.

 My boss came back to the office when I was finishing up, and as we stood at the counter stapling packets, the conversation turned to happiness, and my boss said, "if we present things to people showing that that way is the best way for everyone, it makes everyone happy."

 And I responded with something that sounded like mocking to my boss and he said "so you are mocking me?!"

 I replied "no, I'm trying to make it so I am happy"  

Then my boss started asking me why I have been so unhappy for a few weeks. 

I became like a deer in the headlights. 

I froze, 

"It's mainly the group that I is coming to next week"-- they have been SO stressful!

 "Mainly, what else" he said. 

Wow, what do you say to that??, he asked it intensely. 

"I don't really know" I say

"You don't really know, or you don't want to tell me" he replies. Still intense, making direct eye contact. 

"I don't know specifically, it's all the small stuff" I say. 

"I get that" he moves out of intensive mode and stops staring me down. "The little things have been killing me to"

Though he's less intensive, he's still not normal, still not okay.

I ask, "are you mad at me?" --he should be, I've not been okay for like 6 weeks now, trying to fake my happiness, but letting my true colors come out to much. 

He asks "why would I be mad at you?" 

I refere to the conversation we just had. 

After a few meaningless comments that I can't recall, my boss says this:

"though you don't know what's bothering you, i do. And I can't fix the problem right now."

I asked"how would you fix it"

 he said "fire someone" ---I don't even know who he would fire, because I think so many people need to go! 

We get outside and hop on his gator. As we start the drive up the hill he says

 "I'm not mad at you, I just want to see where you are at and if we are on the same page. I get mad because I see so many things that I want to fix like that [snap] but I get so frustrated because you have to wait to get the problem fixed."

 Then he dropped me off at my house. And now I'm sitting here on my couch processing all of that. 

I don't even know how, what do you do with that? I feel glad that he kinda opened up to me, he has been a mess less time than me, but way more intense. I have been opening doors for him to be real with me. But this cryptic conversation focused on me through me off. In the beginning of it, I thought I was going to get a talking to about being unhappy. A "change that crap" lecture, but I didn't, not at all. Even though I need to change that crap. 

Instead, I'm confused. I feel like he opened up to me, but I don't really know what he said. I also don't think change is going to happen, but my hopes are up that the word "fire" came into the conversation. 

I'm still in flee mode. This doesn't change that. But I'm glad that this work storm may soon be over.