Tired of Limbo Land

I haven't heard anything about the job, which I think is a very bad sign. I have mostly given up hope on it, but haven't been told, "becky, your out"

I am pretty sure that nothing is going to happen, but it makes me struggle to move forward. I signed up for a 5k that's in a month, part of me questions if I will be able to participate. I wondered if I should have gotten that 12 pack of Toliet paper, or if I should have only gotten the 4 pack for the next few weeks.

In my head, I am pretty confident that I am not moving at all, but there is that 1% change that I am. That 1% needs to move to 0% or 100%, its killing me where it is now.

This past week was tough. My job was REALLY REALLY hard. Lots of people, disorganized schedules and chaos all around me. Last night I was SO DONE!

Thinking about this new job, I get excited that I wouldn't have the same amount of responsibility. That is oh so very appealing to me! Especially after a week like this.

I don't know how people make it to 29 and not fall apart. I feel like I am this huge mess scared of the world and wanting to be back where I was raised. I am tired of being scared of where I am.

The process of moving seems hard, but I feel like I will feel completely at home thinking about settleing in at my new job and life. I feel like I can be adventurous in my homeland. I feel like I can spread my wings and do more if I live there instead of here.

It is hard, but I will make it though this season. I am strong, You can do this Becky.

But really, I just miss my mom oh so much right now.