Heading out #midwestjobinterview

Packing up for a trip and heading out changes me a little bit. It isn't hard for me to do, but doing it makes me feel a little braver. It makes me feel like I can do anything because I am able to get through security with by bag, enter in a megaplex, find my flight and be in a different part of the world. Many things can happen in this process. Missed flights, snowstorms, delays, can't get through security etc. But it is something that I love to tackle. 

Today I am flying to the Midwest for a job interview. Whew, And I'm at a point where I don't know if I want this job, I don't know if I want to start over my life, I don't know if I want to move. 



There is a lot of risk, no matter what I choose I am risking something. It may be that I am risking the best job of my life to settle for the one I have. I might be risking a really good job for something that I am going to hate. 

I kinda feel like I am not "me" anymore. I don't know how to think, I feel like my future is so unknown that I don't know how to be "me" 

I am realizing that I have very supportive friends. Even at the threat of leaving them, they show that they love me. They aren't putting their own interests in front of this opportunity. Seeing how they have come around me in this, makes me want to stay here all the more. 

I feel like I can't constantly pray about this, that the act of praying makes it a little too real, it makes it feel overwhelming. My prayer is this though, "Lord, make it clear if I am to be here or not when I am here" 

There is another person that is interviewing. I keep forgetting that. In my head, it is just me and my decision if I want to go to this camp. But that's not true, there is also another camp director that is deciding if he wants me on his team. I may not move forward at all. He may say to me that this weekend is the end of this journey--- That would take all the pressure off of me in this. That answer would let me know what I need to do without any pressure on me. 

Lord, I need your strength, I need you to guide me. Don't let me miss out on the opportunities in front of me. Don't let me miss what you are staying to me in this time. Be my rock. Be my strenght. Be more clear than I have experience before.