4 year look back

I remember the moment- sitting on top of the Zipline tower, hot, sweaty, trying to distract my mind by looking at a magazine, but not being able to focus on it, because my mind was consumed on the things going on around me at camp. 

I cried out to God-- a complete mess, so confused and unsure of why I was here at this camp and struggling with the mindsets of God of those who I worked with-- angry in how they represented Him and taught who He was. 

I remember praying in a real raw way. And God responded by telling me that I was going to marry skip-- saying nothing about my current condition of being a mess. I knew it was during the summer of 2011-- but I found this journal entry today-- I don't remember writing this at all- but I am amazed that I could admit it in words that day, I was unable to say it outloud for a long time. 

I am getting close to the 4 year mark-- nothing has change inthe Skip department but I am more confident in how and what the Lord said now.