Skills and talents

I have been deep in thoughts about me lately- about my skills, talents, worth and why I am here and doing what I'm doing.

I often get to this place when it's time to G O! As in quit my job and start something new-- But not this time, quite the opposite actually.

Summer staff just arrived, they have big dreams in their lives, camp is just a stepping stone for them, yet here I am- full time. And I know there's a difference in our roles and jobs and there is significance to why I'm here, it's just hard see it. 

I feel like I have no marketable skills- I can't cook, do mechanical things, I have a very narrow job skill within my job- talk on the phone and email ppl- I don't have a good memory, or writing or verbal skills, I survive, but I'm not actually gifted at these things. 

I remember that God uses our weaknesses. I'm dyslexic, I'm not good at talking, yet I'm thriving at a job that requires and mostly uses both. 

I learned today, that my boss was telling his wife's extended family that the only reason camp was doing so well was because of me-- that is a very kind statement--and I don't see it as true-- I work with so many ppl who make camp amazing. I'm not that skilled in what I do- but it's nice to hear that God is working through me. I often wonder if I'm failing, and if I should quit, so that someone better and more capable should come in and do the things I am doing. 

It's staff training week, I am barely involved but have been trying to participate where I can. We had a chapel tonight, and my boss spoke. He talks a lot about having the Lord use you- that we often feel we aren't good enough- but that we should pray about it, we should pray for God to give us opportunities to share the gospel with others. 

As I'm going through this weird phase where I think about everything and nitpick who I am- I need to remember to let that go- I need to seek the Lord to prepare me for what I am doing. 

-- also I think I want to pray with group leaders about their camp, but make it very natural and not weird at all. I need to pray about how to do that- and opportunities for that.