Not understanding the most common hurt

In case you missed it- it came out yesterday that josh Dugger molested 5 girls when he was 14-15 years old, some of which were his sisters. There is media all over this, and there are so many viewpoints on it, should we forgive him? can there show still be on tv? Etc etc etc 

There is a lot of talk about the victims-- and how they are feeling-- and I don't understand at all how they are feeling. 

I don't mean that in a rude way, but in a honest," I have no idea how you feel" kind of way.

 It's confusing to me, how can the actions of sex cause so many different feelings, how can the same actions sometimes make you feel amazing and satisfied and other times broken, hurt and confused. 

Now, before you judge me for asking such a dumb question where there are obvious outside factors that influence this, think of it that simple-- crazy how sex can make you feel so radically different pending on the situation. 

People explain how being molested or rape hurts them to the core, it messes in how they see themselves, their self-image, worth, they have anger, hardships. And nothing inside of doubt that those things occur--but I don't understand it at all, I don't get how all of these things happen to you, by a little bit of physical contact. 

I think I'm not alone in that boat, and I think my lack of understanding and your lack of understanding (if you haven't experienced molestation or rape first hand) is why victims struggle so much. 

Because I don't actually understand the pain, I said hurtful words to victims, I give way more grace to people like Josh bacause I don't understand the big deal of what he did. Causing victims even more pain. 

If you remember any of my stories about dating ham, you know I got to know and understand how porn will mess with you and how ham opened my eyes wide to the that world-- I am sure many people I am around each day are addicted to porn, but no one outside of him have talked to me about their personal connection to it. 

I know that people in my life have been molested and raped-- I don't know the details at all about it--it's too painful for them share-- I see them struggle with it. But I don't get to know their struggle. 

One of my friends shared with me that her heart was heavy for whichever sisters of josh that had to live with him after being hurt by him. The anger she was experiencing by people saying that "we need to leave the past in the past" 

I was told that Mary DeMuth wrote a really good article on this today, I need to go read it-- I'm sure you do too. 

I hope as this story continues to unfold  that I will have heart of understanding-- that though I have never been a sexual abuser or victim, the Lord will show me how to feel rightly and justly for both. That my words will not hurt those who are already hurt from similar situations and that God will guide my thoughts and emotions through this.