Oh man, I had a melt down what like 15 days ago, and was really not okay. I have become "okay" I don't have this dark awful cloud over me where I can't see anything good. I haven't really started to deal with my issues. I have been doing oh so much better.
Today I went to church. I was sitting between two couples and was watching couple after couple walk into the worship center. I started to cry, like embarrassing amount of tears, the stuffy nose, cry because I felt so ALONE in this crowd of people. Thankfully the lights were down, and the music was loud so I don't think anyone really notice that I was having this huge melt down in the middle of church.
I forget how hard it is to be single. I think that I am okay then BOMB! I am not okay. I suddenly start to cry in places where it's not okay to have a break down.
Today was neat though. I was in worship, I was singing about how amazing God is while I was I breaking down. It was like giving me confirmation that God is big. He is bigger than all my emotions that were overcoming me in the moment.
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