Looking at my Life From A Few Thousand Miles Away

Sometimes you need to fly across the country and sit on the couch of old friends to get perspective on your life.

That is what I did. Yesterday I got on a plane, flew across the country to my friends Katie and Jack's house. My camp friends that I spent so much time on their couch until they moved, which is now a year and a half ago.

They are out of camp life, completely right now. They live in a neighborhood, they can drive 2 minutes and be at the grocery store. They don't go to the dining hall to get all their meals- out of camp life. I forget how small of a world I live. I forget what a normal house looks like (I live in a modular home, not a cabin by the way--that is the most common question I get about living at camp) But my friends house has stairs, a full kitchen. It is a normal house.

I forget that I only work and see Christians. I forget what my life is actually like when I am in it 24/7. But stepping away gives me fresh eyes. Lets me see reality a little better.

I just saw this clip from Joanna Gaines. Watch it:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7iPEDnqwm0

There are two things that stood out to me and made an impact.
1. Joanna has Chip who loves, supports, and pushes her to pursue her dream while making sure she is okay.
2. Joanna has a real relationship with the Lord and listens and obeys to what he is telling her to do and how to act.

Both of these things are rare. But are so incredibly beautiful. I long to have love in my life that is like Chip's love for JoJo. I think that Joanna is able to be brave and strong on her own because she has a brave and strong man along with her. I think that is beautiful. I wish I had that.

I think Jojo's relationship with the Lord is real open and strong. You rarely hear about people who have the Lord whisper things to them --I have, and it is neat to see how the Lord has worked in her life.

I have a lot of bad habits right now (and by habits I also mean habitual sin.) I pursue what I want. I look down on others to see myself as better, I judge, I don't give second chances. I am harsh. I am also scared, a lot. I fear the unknown. I don't move forward, I don't do what I should be doing.

I am scared of this world, and I don't really know why my fear is so strong. I don't really know what I am afraid of exactly. It's a fear that I am going to have to face something that I don't know how to handle and fail at this unknown thing.

My friend Katie told me that she has a theme word that she prays about and works on for the entire year. Last year her word was "grace" this year is "intentional"-- they are super generic, kinda cheesy, but completely changes her life, according to her.

I think that is so amazing. I think we need to have "generic" things we know to focus on. I think that is how we because a better person.

In writing this last sentence I think I know my word. "Prayerful"
It just came to me and I knew that is my 2016 word, prayerful-- I was going to write how I need to think and pray for a word, but I know. I need to focus on being prayerful in everything that I do this year. I need to make my life about being connected and in relationship with our God. Our savior.

So here we go! Here is to a 2016. With a focus on reading Isaiah, doing callanetics (a workout video) 100 times and being "prayerful" in everything and anything that I do.

Lord. I pray that 2016 is the best year and forever life-changing. Please speak to me and develop me into the person that you want me to be in these next 12 months.