Well, I can't compete with really amazing people, I'm not as pretty, skinny, caring, outspoken, amazing as them. I sometimes feel the need to fake it, but I then go down this other rabbit hole. I think that is why I am struggling this week, I have had so many great full-time staff mentors and suddenly feel this self-appointed pressure to be as cool as my mentors--- and I'm not as cool or great as them, so I feel stand-off-ish like no one can get close because they will know the truth.- I'm not as cool as the mentors I had that they have never met.
I listened to a podcast today and our evening staff devo was on being a servant-- a slave for The Lord. You gotta be very humble, you gotta put everyone before you, you gotta stand up for Lord in this.
That's hard. I'm selfish AND my great mentors were really good servants to me, and that adds to how I can't live up to their legacy in my life.
I struggle in being so far behind in life, I'm practically 30 and have barely any adult accomplishs to show for it. I'm husband less, kidless, and don't own anything. But I need to cast all my anxiety on the Lord because he cares for me.
I need to be not looking like my great mentors and be okay in having my adult life look different than theirs.
It's not only okay for this to happen, it may be part of God's plan.
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