What's so hard about being single

Typically, I do fine with being single, but it's not all always the easiest thing. In fact, some days and situation it is extremely difficult. 

I had a really difficult day last week with singleness last week and have been concumed with thoughts since on what is so hard about being single. 

Here's my list: 

1. Hearing sermons/talks where they emphasize spending more time with spouse & kids than your job- and the importance of family. You just feel like crap because you don't have your own family, your just your own-- these talks always make me feel like questioning the point of me living-- I have to work hard to get out of this pit. 

Last semester, I was in a  women's bible study small group, and I am so thankful for one our leaders who always made  a point to say that we don't have to be a wife or mom to be a women of God, we just have to be a women of God. Every week she had to remind our group of this because someone who disqualify me from the mix with their words by emphasizing wife and motherhood as being our connection or purpose. They didn't mean it to be mean, they just can't relate to not being that, which almost makes it worst. 

2. Social awkwardness when people assume your married to someone else, then learn your not married at all.

It's just awful, you are not only uncomfortable with the person who assumed, but then the guy they thought you were married as well. I have gotten good at de-fusing the situation but it's never comfortable. And you feel a little pathetic that you can't say, "oh nope, that hunk over there is my husband"

3. Ending up at social settings meant for couples or you are the only single one there. 

You feel so alone and so out of place. And no one knows how to interact with you. 

4. Hearing married people being fearful or complaining that they need to be at their house alone for a night or two because their husband is out-of-town. 

Hello, that is my whole life. How selfish can you be, suck-it up, I do that every night of my life. Thanks for being so insensitive to be about your selfish problem. -- this really makes me so angry when people complain about this. 

5. Not having anything to talk about to strangers. You may have not of realized this, but spouse and kids are the first conversations that come out with strangers. The conversation doesn't go far when you don't have them. 

6. The utter pain and reality that no-one thinks of you first. 

This saddens my heart so much. I'm no ones first pick, so my friends are who I think and value first, don't see me the same way, they have their spouse, and kids they need to think of. You are everyone's second choice. -- that's dang hard, my eyes never not fill with water when I think of that. 

This isn't an exhaustive list, just the 6 things that keep coming to mind. Although they are all either hard or uncomfortable, there are good things about my state of life. 

For all of us, these things are different. And I don't have this great encouragement to give you, somethings in life are just hard. 

I will give you this though- it may be hard, but we shall not let it consume us, overtake us. Instead, we need to seek truth and stay anchored to God and shake off all this negative talk. 

My college roommate-who was my best friend those 4 years, caught up with me the other day. She is also single and has too experienced hardship with this life stage. She told me that writing down her blessings and gifts and that it's has changed everything for her. 

I think I need to start doing that.