Today is the only today

I haven't said out loud to anyone that I am toying around the idea to move to Portland Maine. You (the handful of people who read my blog) are the only ones who I have shared this dream with. I think I haven't said it out loud for a few reasons:
1. I should tell my boss first that I am thinking of this. And I have no good reasons why I want to go this direction and I don't want to scare him in thinking I am leaving (I don't think most people should tell their boss first, its actually a bad plan. My boss and I are friends though, and he specifically asked me to do that if I am ever in this season of life)
2. I feel like the boy who calls wolf. I have almost left camp like 10 times now. I don't need to go down this path and "not go" once again
3. It is a big and scary move, I don't know if I am brave enough to do something that big and scary
4. I like my life here. I want to buy a patio set- I just painted the walls of my house. I have a good job. My life is really stable and comfortable. Do I really want to leave that??
5. I haven't prayed or sought the LORD in this thought or process at all. This is purely a Becky dream. If I say this out loud, people are going to ask me if I have prayed about it, and I don't want to be called out on that.

I keep thinking about how I only get one life here on earth. One. And today is the only today I will ever get. I don't get to redo life.
I am excited about heaven, but lately I am really bothered that I only get one chance of life on earth. I am wishing that wasn't the case. There are so many different factors in life that can change so many things. I wouldn't be so concerned in how I choose things in this life, if I knew that I would go through this experience a few more times. But, we don't get that option. We only live once. I am feeling the pressure from that. Though I like my life, is this the only way I want to live it? Do I want to change anything that I am doing? I have been at the same place doing about the same thing for 3 years now. Do I need to change and do something new to fully live life? What else should I be doing?

If you follow my twitter,(@beckysails) you may have notice that I have been thinking about this for a while now. I keep stopping and throwing out my questions out there. We can be so much or so little in this life. Where I am and what am I doing with it?