You know what is funny? My entire blog is about things I never talk about in real life: my insecurities, singleness and a promise God gave me. I wish I could be this open and honest with people I know.
Why is it so hard to be transparent? I wonder what would happen if I really opened up and was my true self with people around me. I wonder how that would effect and change my life. I wonder if some day I will be able to do so. I wonder if anyone who actually want to listen?
I also wonder why I feel heard and understood by the process of writing my thoughts instead of speaking them. My words never sound the same when I read the back to myself as they did while I typed them. I never quite feel the same about them after I go through the process of getting them on the page. Writing is truly is the best thing for me to do when I need to sort out my thoughts and feelings. What is the magic of the written word?
I don't think that I am overly fake as a blogger, or fake as a person. But I have these two sides of me and they come out differently pending on where I am. I think that my goal is to allow Skip to see and really know both sides of me. I think that is going to be an important part of our relationship. But do I need to open up and have people see this side of me while I wait for Skip?
Sometimes I do share with people in a human real conversation my thoughts and things that I blog about (never saying that "I blogged" about, that would ruin my secret blog cover) but I think I need to get better at that. I think there is importance in being real.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.