God's rebuttal to my last post "cannot handle this"

I was real real and real ugly in my last post. If you read it, it's all about placing blame on them. And though, the things I say were true, I did not give an accurate picture of the situation to myself or to you. 

The real issue is my pride. The issue is I think what I am doing is more important than what else is going on at camp. 

This was one of the pages I work on tonight on my Gideon workbook. It hit me hard, I have a huge pride issue. HUGE! And I really need to stop thinking of myself as the shit (sorry for the profane, but any substitute word really doesn't do this phase justice) and acknowledge this

Because that is true.... That is the truth. It can't be said any other way. But this is the sting that stayed with me after writing that last statement: 

And honestly, I don't know! Some people really suck, some people truly can't do any job I give them even close to being right. 

It may be a body of Christ thing, where there part just isn't able to do what is asked, it might be an issue that they are working on: lazyness, self-control, obedience, listening etc... 

It may be an the devils foothold in my life, "let's take Becky, and surround her with incapable people, so she has no choice than to feel superior than others." Or everyone else feels like they are better than me, and  intentionally leave all their crap work for me to do for them, because they think I have nothing better to do than care for their needs. 

Whatever it is, it starts with me, and my heart. I should become a master of time management so I am able to do all of these things and not feel pissed that I have so much. I should pray for God to stretch out my day and make it so I am able to accomplish everything I need to do for him, in the allotted time I have for that --each day. I should take out the amount of time I spend brewing anger towards my co-workers, and instead use that to work. 

This sounds do-able, but if I am really honest, I don't see this actually working. But I need to try, I need to give God the ability to work in and through this situation. It may be a huge part of the process of surrendering fully to God.