Easier route needed?

I am so scared of life. Today I had my annual review at work. I got promoted, you would think I would be celebrating, but instead, I am really scared. It doesn't make sense. I am doing exactly the same thing as before. But I can't handle it. I messed up today. I feel intense pressure to all of a sudden be absolutely incredible. I feel sick and have felt this way for days. I don't think I will do a good job. I don't think I have it in me to stand up and do what needs to be down. 

Part of me wishes right now I took the easy road. Stayed near my parents, all my family and work a simply job where there was no pressure where, I have no authority, I simply do what I am told.

 I have lots of tension, I can physically feel it in my body. My face, calves, and feet ache by holding in all this tension. I lost my appetite, food has tasted sour to be for a few days now. I think the stress of my job, my anger towards ppl in my professional life and the fact that I went on a date with a guy I work with on thanksgiving and don't know how I feel about it or him is really wearing on my body. I'm a mess. I'm often a mess. How did I end up here. My boss told me today, that I need to really be in-tune with the Holy Spirit to do well with my job. That a lot of what I do is dependent on Him and rely on his workings.

 I think I might be depressed. Like true depressed. I don't understand any of my feelings. Does anyone else struggle in this? How does one become a real adult? Why am i all alone in this? 

I really want a hug right now, a tight one that doesn't let go and let's all the tears I have been holding in, come out and soak their shirt. And in the midst of that,hug me tighter. And be there for me as I am this crazy messed-up person.