Whoa lots of thoughts

So today is not only skips birthday but also my half birthday. Not only am I flooded with significance because of the day, but I also just attended a real powerful, personal, thought provoking church service. Lets start debriefing church first.
The Lord has put the story of Abraham deeply on my heart. The church I attend has been going through this for weeks (but I miss church more than make it) today the message was personally for me, It was about Faith. The story was Abraham about to give his son as a offering to The Lord. The point was that when we have faith we take action within it. Faith isn't a thought or mindset it's by what we do. Faith isn't about talking big risks but trusting God enough to do what he says. There's a lot more to this but let me pause right here and reflect.
Even within my doubt, I KNOW that God spoke and that he is going to show me this faithfulness with skip. I think in this promise the action I need to do is more a lack of actions I would normally do. I don't throw my self at guys like I used to, I don't try to get guys to hold my hands or snuggle with me. Outside of Gods promise of love with skip he has also asked me to pray for him daily- which is the hardest part of my day, I have so much resistance to do this. It's hard and I don't know why. My words tend to be just chistianese and short. And this is for the guy I crush on and the one God promised me. My boss and campers are other people I feel a need to pray for, that is easy for me. Words pour out of me but skip, what a struggle.
Okay back to epic sermon.
We also talked about ppl in the bible taking big risks, but God gave them crystal clear directions to do those "risks" and that there are 3 things that we ways The Lord speaks to us and that we should have all 3 inline. The Holy Spirit, Gods word and wise counsel. I wonder, I clearly believe that the Holy Spirit spoke to me, and gave me direction with this. But not sure how or what Gods word said about this nor wise counsel. I have talked to my wise friends and they haven't given me red flags, but they are friends, are they my wise counsel? I say all of this but still KNOW that I am to learn how God is faithful though love with skip. Even though I haven't spoken a word to anyone at church outside of a polite "hello" this place has greatly impacted my life.

I am sure I will write another post later today by as I now leave my seat at Starbucks . I want to leave you with the last point of this sermon. Faith is the path we take not a magic potion that makes problems go away.