Brave Steps

I have a secret for you. A real one, I haven't told anyone yet, kind of secret. I applied for a job today. A real job, overseeing a byproduct logistics of a major product used in America.

I just meet the qualifications of this job, I have no idea if anything will come of it at all. But I feel good just being brave enough to apply for it.

I am starting to feel a bit of bitterness towards my job. I am getting the guilt talk about moving out of my house to move into a horrible place, to make room for someone else, and I don't think that is fair. I am sick of feeling this pressure and guilt, I think I am just ready to move on, move into a new house and a new job.


I am pretty sure that my manager gets paid twice as much as me, which really bothers me. I work more hours than him, and often have more pressure put on me than he does on him. And he acts like he owns me, which really really bothers me. He always tells people on the phone "my (my job role) is in, I can transfer you over" I'm not his. Stop telling people that! I work for the overall organization, stop making it sound like you have personal slaves.

I need to let go of this bitterness. and become content, I am currently not going anywhere. but I think I am now really ready.

My boss has been really distant and frankly, kinda mean to me over the last few month. Making snide comments, keeping secrets from me, being abrasive when things come up.  I'm kinda done with it. I can't really figure out why I am still doing what I am doing.

I wish transitions weren't so hard. I really wish starting over, didn't involve every step of starting over. But if I make 1 change, everything in my life changes. and I am at a spot where that might be on own good option.

Even though it is a long shot, I am a little excited about the job I applied for today. I really hope if it works out, it is an amazing fit, and if it doesn't that I will be brave enough to apply for the next great opportunity that I see!