Passion and Purity

My boss's wife has told me many times that I need to read this book and that my journey with Skip is so similar to Elisabeth And Jim Elliot's.

I'm embarrassed by "single" and "dating" books and often think they are a joke, but I ordered it and it came in today. 

My boss gave me a ride home and asked me what I got-- I was embrassed to tell him-- but I did, and he knew the book and wanted to talk about it. Thankfully the conversation only lasted 30 seconds. 

I have been reading it tonight and I see some big differences between mine andElisabeth's story. Jim told Elisabeth that he loved her early in their relationship--skip hasn't ever told me that. Skip has made very very few moves ever that indicate at all that he likes-me, likes-me. Outside of a little-bit of snuggling and hand-holding, the only things I have to base any sort of "liking-me" from him is him watching the Duggars with me and intentionally being around me. -- but that really isn't much-- I have had much more real relationships with other guys, all have which lead no-where... Well often the guy quickly marries another girl once our fling ends. 

I have also been reading "thriving in Babylon" and it has been talking about how we know we are faithful to God by obeying things that don't make sense to us. They have no logic or reason, but we do it anyway. 

The more and more time that goes by, the more I think God's plan for me and Skip is crazy--- yet at the same time, I am seeing to get more and more comfortable with it.-- but as I become comfortable with it, I freak out more about it because I allow myself to start the process of processing it. 

Some days I really think I have it good. I know who I am going to end up married to, I just don't know how-- I don't have to look and search for "the one" because I know who he is. ---but some days it's hard because people want you to look for "the one" and it's fun looking some days, but that is not the route I should be one. 

But deep down, I truly hope I am correct in hearing God's voice and that He spoke to me about Skip one day being mine. I know that I should trust God's voice over man's, so I should be thankful that God spoke to me.  right now though, I am very jealous of Elisabeth because she had Jim verbalized his love to her at the start, I have no human indictator of what's to come or what may be.