Think like a blog

TToday I was driving around the mountain- thinking, and in the middle of my thought, i realized that I now think in the same way I write in this blog-- I explain my thoughts in story form-- I think about background things involving the situation. Telling and explaining it to myself. And as I thought about it, I realized I have started or completely written so many blogs in my head that have never made it to this page. 

Now onto my thoughts:

I feel like every year of my adult life is significant. Something big and new happened- I always moved- always had new struggles. I probley won't move this year, and my life will basically look the same this year as it did last year. 

 But I want to make this year significant. I want to change my life in some way-- in a way that will make me more like Jesus.

 I have thought about adding a lengthy devo time to my day- starting to intentionally praying for skip everyday, being way more deep into Gods word than I have ever been. 

I have been building lots of walls around myself-- I need to start tearing them down and being real in The Lord. 

I have rediculous fears; trust issues with God and believing that he speaks to me, arrangimg my future with a man named Skip. And this creeps into every area of my life. 

On Sunday, I watch "our story, with Chris Brown" this clip of life changed with a person within our church that they shoe about once a month. In this weeks, they shared about a mom who went through a hurtful divorce that made her two sons very very hurt, and to get out of their house, they went to church, the sons needed a place to have fun, laugh-- and the impact that their kids had-- feeling loved by these people. The mom felt support in raising her kids by these leaders which changed their lives.

As I heard these words, I felt really convicted. 

I think all about me, especially at my job. I need to stop that and think about others and serve them well when they are at camp. I really really need to step it up, and forget about myself-- my entitlement issues are killing me and my spirit and my ability to serve others.