Sailing in the waves: Self-less or worth-less

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Self-less or worth-less

I am really really struggling in this moment, it's one of those moments you know will pass but right now, everything seems as though you are being personally attacked and the world is ending.

I feel like i suck at my job, one of my closest friends here is 2-3 months from leaving, and i just found out a person i really really struggle being around is moving into my house.

I FLIPPING WANT TO RUN!

My living situation has been rough here since I started, it's been really really bad to somewhat bad a few times around since I have been here. I just want it to be good. I want to enjoy being at home. I am almost 28, and I feel like I am stuck in a 22 year old life style. I want to move on with my life. I want to live my age. I think I need to make a plan and start changing my life- my whole life. Not just challenge myself to change my relationship with God.

I am scared to change my life, It could get worst.

I really want stability and I don't think that I can get that here.

I hate that I am alone in this. I want a husband to cry with right now.

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How to Read this Blog

This isn't a blog where you learn how to make your house cute, lose weight, style your hair, dress stylishly or literally sailing in the ocean.

Instead, it's my life in real time, the type of blog where you have to start at post one and move your way to today to really get it the whole picture.

This blog shows the real me, it's where I let out my feelings if they need an outlet, where I process things The Lord is teaching me and share victories he has made clear to me. Where I ask the hard questions and talk about the things on my heart that are too hard to say outloud, that are too fragile to let friends voice their opinion over.

I let my ugly out here often. When I get mad, really mad, I turn here to this blog to tell about it. Sometimes in talking about it, I realize how ridiculous I sound, and see what is actually going on, and I then share that. Sometimes I don't, and the point of the post was just to let it out. We aren't always pretty following Christ, and you get to see that in me here.

This blog is FULL of spelling mistakes and grammar errors. I often don't go back and read over my posts. when I do that, I find myself restructuring my sentences and making myself sound better than I really am. The whole point of this is NOT to do that, so instead you get the typos, hopefully you will still understand what I am trying to say.

I have been learning ALOT in this time blogging and I hope you learn something too as you read along.