Not content

Wow, things have really changed in the past 5 hours. I am not content. I feel like I'm fearing life, not good enough to be social with people, and out of no where ridiculously missing ham and a relationship that was nothing. How does these walls hit so hard and so fast? How should I recover and become better person from this? That's what I want, I don't want to oppress my feelings and convince myself it's okay. But instead make this exactly the life I want it to be. I only get to do this once, lets live-it-up!