Arts and crafts

Just finished the first of the 5 chevron wall hangings I am painting for my living room. I was going to only have 2 teal triangles, but it looked too much like racing strips, so I added some more. Can't wait to show you the finished product! 

Blog of a blog-- that I saw on Facebook

My boss's wife just posted this blog to her Facebook, it is really really good. I wanted to share it all with you: 

singleness is not a disease.

If you know me well, you know I’ve been in a few weddings. And by few I mean that I could make my own version of “27 Dresses.” Friends love to say “always a groomsman, never the groom.” All of my best friends are either married, engaged or seriously dating someone. So naturally everyone believes I should be, too. I mean think about it…. You are supposed to meet your wife in college and get married shortly after graduation, right? “The rest of your life”begins once you have a job and get hitched. Well this mindset is the reason for my frustration…

When did Christ stop being enough? Doesn’t my life belong to Him whether I’m single or married? When I stop finding my self-worth and fulfillment in Him, I have aserious problem.

Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. Irejoice whenever friends get engaged or married and I’m truly honored to be a part of their big day. I, too, desire to one day be married and have children. But who says that has to be now? Or that I’ve missed my “window of opportunity” by finishing college and still being single?

Honestly, there are days I’ve wondered why I haven’t found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’ve found myself living like I’m waiting for someone to arrive. Society (even Christian society)treats singleness as the waiting room for marriage. And that mindset has trickled down to me.

But that isn't how I should think. And neither should you. When did singleness become a disease that needs a cure?

People told me “Caleb, you’re gonna move to Houston and find your wife!”Many of those same people are shocked that I’ve been in Texas for a year now and I’m still single. I didn’t move to Houston to find a wife. I moved to Houston to servethe Lord of my life. If I find a wife in the process, great. If not, great.  

Whether I’m single for another week or for the rest of my life, I will treat it as a gift. I plan to wake up every day excited to spend it with my Creator. What else do I need?

When did Christ stop being enough? Doesn’t my life belong to Him whether I’m single or married? When I stop finding my self-worth and fulfillment in Him, I have aserious problem.

Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. Irejoice whenever friends get engaged or married and I’m truly honored to be a part of their big day. I, too, desire to one day be married and have children. But who says that has to be now? Or that I’ve missed my “window of opportunity” by finishing college and still being single?

Honestly, there are days I’ve wondered why I haven’t found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’ve found myself living like I’m waiting for someone to arrive. Society (even Christian society)treats singleness as the waiting room for marriage. And that mindset has trickled down to me.

But that isn't how I should think. And neither should you. When did singleness become a disease that needs a cure?

People told me “Marcus, you’re gonna move to Houston and find your wife!”Many of those same people are shocked that I’ve been in Texas for a year now and I’m still single. I didn’t move to Houston to find a wife. I moved to Houston to servethe Lord of my life. If I find a wife in the process, great. If not, great.  

Whether I’m single for another week or for the rest of my life, I will treat it as a gift. I plan to wake up every day excited to spend it with my Creator. What else do I need?

It comforts me to read this...a lot. To know that I'm not stuck alone in this boat. I have a lot of single friends-but they are all girls that I talk about the hardness of singlehood. I love hearing what this guy had to say. I love that I know he is quality and not a weirdo. It gives me so much hope. (But not make me want to fall in love with him)

"For The Lord is preparing me"

This has been my answer to almost all the Gideon study questions as I worked through that, and I know they The Lord is preparing me for something. The past couple of weeks, I thought it was The Lord preparing me a way outta here because I was hating every single day so much. 

In the midst of worship today our worship leader told a story of The Lord preparing him for months before somthing really hard and pressing happened to him, and now as he is in that season, he is hanging on to the things The Lord prepared him for. In the drive home from church today. I was telling my boss's wife all that I learned in church and that The Lord is preparing me for something, and that I don't know what it is. ---I have a great fear of what it is. Skip becoming engaged to that Facebook girl (or any girl that's not me) and that my promise won't come to be, for a consequence of my year of disobience, or to show I can trust The Lord even when it doesn't make sense. Whatever the it is. I hope, HOPE it's not that. It has the potential of snapping me, instead of stretching me. 

Lord please have your word be, even in my disobedience!  

Church knowledge James 1:19-25

Just got home from church, I learned A LOT, gotta write it out so I don't forget. 

James 1:19-25

Cycle of blessing: a pattern in our lives that we hopefully go through over and over again, and am blessed by being connected to The Lord. 

1. Clean out the crud--- take out all the known sin in our lives. For the more we hold onto sin, the less The Lord will be apart of our lives. 

Romans 1:18-32, proverbs 4:18--as I further read into this, I don't know if they are exactly saying that God works like a dimmer switch in our lives. Gotta pray about that one. 

2. Humbly receive Gods word

*** BIG LEARNING HERE***

James 1:21 " therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you" 

--when we read the bible and we disagree with it, believe that we "are special" and it doesn't apply to us, we are not humbly accepting it. Pastor Larry gave the example of Apple maps. It's normally accurate, but every once in a while it gives us a direction that is really stupid, and we go out and make our own route. Which is good because Apple maps isn't our God. But when God who is our God, tells us to do something really stupid, and we turn and go our own way, we are disobeying God by our arrangance of who we is. It's easy to follow when it's easy, but the paths that looks to be a stupid way to go, is when we show we humbly accept Gods word--complete reminder for me with skip... Having this new girl in his life is really hard for me, but I need to remain on this path, even though it seems so unrealistic at this time. 

Examples pastor Larry gave of this:

•our generosity, waiting to be debt-free, to make more, to have the savings account 

•our honesty, telling the truth even if it hurts/hard

•our bitterness towards that one person we cannot forgive

•flirting with temptation, and not fleeing from it

3. Do what it says, living a life obedient and acting the way the bible says

Bible study myths that royally screw us up: 

1. The more you know the more you grow

Reality: the more we obey God's word, the more we grow. 

2. A bible scholar is a God expert

Reality: we learn more as we be obedient

3. If you are a poor reader, you can't be a close Christian to The Lord.

Reality: it's not about reading it's about doing what God's word says. Living it out matters more than being a reading expert. ---"blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it" Luke 11:28

3. Take your obedience to a deeper level

V23-25 tells us that a fool forgets immediate after seeing, but if we look intently at the perfect law that gives freedom, not forgetting it, and doing it, he will be blessed for what he does. (Not just knows) 

I learned a lot from this. A lot! I have many things I need to work on. The main thing my pride, and growing in the obedience to The Lord's word and doing as it says always, not just when it leads me on a path that I want to go on. 

Movie shoot

My boss and I went down to the movie shoot that's happening at camp last night. I LOVED IT! it's so cool. They did a night shot of a father and daughter at a campfire with their dog. They have this huge spotlight that gets shined onto different screens to make it "moon light" and it has this cool effect on the lighting. 

 They have other lights that have filters that makes it so you can see everyone so well but still very dark. 

I have developed a little crush-crush on the director, not a real crush, but a "you are stink'n hot and cool crush." He came and talked to my boss and I between each take and gave us all the inside info of what was going on. So cool!! I'm really glad I got to experience all of that. 

In other news: 

One of my co-workers just informed me that one of the summer staff has a crush on me. I was pretty that he did by his actions, but it's good to have that confirmed. And as much as I don't know what to do with that, I feel pretty dang good about myself that a guy 5 years younger than me has a crush on me. It's almost like i have some game left! 

Ps the picture was from set-up, I turned my phone off at the shoot, I was scared it  would ring/beep/buzz and ruin a scene. 

Bahhhhh!

I'm having one of those days where I'm about to cry by all the work that I have to get done. I feel so much pressure. 

How do people handle this? 

Facebook revealing current reality

This girl who I have kinda thought had
a thing going on with skip wrote this on his Facebook wall earlier today: 

Skip was the one comment he wrote: 

There are so many bad signs for me. 

1. She public ally declared missing him

2. They sing and dance together

3. They have inside jokes together 

4. He responded

5. His response doesn't even make sense to me, that's how much of an inside joke it is. 

Skip is amazing, girls have always been in love with him. This shouldn't come be a surprise. And well it doesn't. I'm surprise at how sad my heart feels. How incredibly jealous I am for this girl. And, yet again, so completely confused on how God is going to work in this relationship, especially now with this girl ( who is probley completely incredible) in the way. 

Steaming in anger

This is the verse church was about this past weekend. It's been eating me up for days. I didn't go, and I really don't feel ready to listen to it. Tonight, Tuesday night, I finally had the courage to look at the sermon notes. To read the verse above. 

I have become enraged with anger lately. Enraged! I'm am constantly mad, almost any small thing will completely set me off. The little things are eating away at me. As you have read my posts in the past few days, I am in flight mode, I don't know all that is eating away at me, I feel of very little value. And as people affirm me, I feel less and less of value, as though that confirmation is needed, because they see I'm about to fall apart. And I know KNOW that I'm replaceable, and if they replaced me now, would the new person thrive so much better than me?

My boss texted me this tonight: 

I stared at it for a long while. Processing what he meant. I didn't go to staff worship yesterday night. I talked to him on Friday about how I'm struggling. I met with him today, we kinda talked about how I was doing, but not really. Was he hurt that I didn't go last night? Was he glad that I was joining the group tonight? Did I do something wrong before and now I'm on the right track? 

This is how I replied:  

          thanks ________, a lot of 

He talked about prayer tonight, and the importance of it, and how to do it. I know this all, but it's hard to move forward in, when you are angry. 

I need to muster up the courage to listen to the sermon. Though it will most likely be stretching, it will be really good for me to grow in this area. 

Also, I am not going to apply for thie job I really really want to apply for unless God puts in my life a person to encourage me to do so. I need not run away, but instead work in God's timing, and that's the way I asked The Lord to make it clear if I need to move in that direction. 

What is that view? Promiseland or just a escape location?

There's a job opening in this beautiful area, 12 miles from the beach, a 7 minute drive from trader joes, and in an amazing climate. It's still in the mountains, but I think this mountain location is so different than mine. Instead of working directly with guest groups, I would assist the executive director. That seems oh so much less stressful. The camp seems well-establish. When I talk about it, and listen to my own words come out of my mouth, it makes no sense why I haven't applied for this job. But I just can't get myself to move forward. 

This past week has been so hard for me. I just want to talk away and quit. I feel so alone and unsupported in my role. I feel like I owe people for convincing them to serve guests. I feel like I can't keep up and do the job that I need to do. I talked to my boss last week. And though talking to him always makes me feel better, it doesn't change anything. Nothing comes from these conversations, and a few days or week in right back in the place I felt before the conversation. 

With no dramatic change from all the conversations and situations, it has not only been wearing on me, but also my boss himself. He hasn't been the same, he in fact has been really not okay for about two weeks now. I think the stress of camp is getting to him. 

 I demand a lot from him, I am the only office staff that works with guest groups directly outside of him. When I am not working, he has to. And I think both he and his wife are getting mad at me for this, and I am mad back because I want help from someone who is fully focused on helping me, not one who has the full responsibility of running camp. 

Whenever I talk to my boss about needing help, the conversation always goes these two ways. 1. Asking if I need to step down from the position because I can't handle it and 2. My boss offering to stress himself more and assist in a way that is not practical and one that actually makes my life more stressful because I don't trust that the job will actually be completed. 

In writing this post, I think I am done, this is not a good work environment. This isn't a place that I want to be at. Why am I here? 

I am here because I move all the time and I need to stay somewhere. I don't want to be the typical millennial and run when it's hard, I would feel like a jerk to my boss-- he has no one really on his team, and outside of my feelings I listed above, we get along really really well. The logistics and expense of moving scare me. I don't think my car would make it. I own more than my car could handle, it would take so much effort and work to get this move together, and I don't know if I could finically or mentally afford it. 

I have been really angry lately, and my prayer life has suffered greatly because of that. In all of these feelings and reasons, I need to not respond with them, but go to The Lord in prayer. If I am to leave or to take a step in the direction of leaving by applying for this job. I need to pray make it clear to me that this is a direction to move it, if I am to stay that that will also be clear. 

I'm a mess of feelings, and I lost my work keys (I have a hunch of where that are, I hope they are there)  which makes me a little crazy. Pray for me, pray for clarity in all of this. 

Blog new look

Every blog that makes it into my radar ALWAYS has a very simple look, and has white as the background color. Very clean, very crisp. I fought it for a long time, I like my dark gray background with white words and orange accents. It was time. I switched it over today. I kept my images. But as you can see I have a classic looking blog.

I made the non-moble site first. It was perfect. But I HATED how the moble site looked, so I started messing with it. It wrecked it all! 

So I tried to go back and perfect. I'm not there yet, but it's close. I really don't like the blue color on the moble site, but I don't know how to fix it. So it will be what is it! 

Thanks for looking! Let me know if anything else needs fix'n! 

Flight mode

I am having major issues. I'm in flight mode BIG TIME! I really really want to just quit my job and walk away. I'm done hearing all the praise and emphasis on this new camp that is premiering for one week this summer. I'm done feeling alone at my job. I'm done hearing fake encouragement from really fake people. I'm done with people undervaluing our guests and overvaluing themselves. I'm done with having staff being set in their ways and have the staff work around what is best for them.  

I talked to my boss about it tonight. He is really good. He MAKES me talk, he really wants to listen. He keeps saying "what else, I know you want to say more" but he is my boss, a lot of what is bothering is kinda connected to him in some ways. And he hears a lot of crap from a lot of ppl. He doesn't need to hear mine on top of it all. 

In reality, I don't know what all is wrong with me. I think if I had to boil it down I feel unsupported and alone at work and that no one is there to help me out. I don't have a safe person to talk through decisions with with actually has the time and ability to do that with me. I don't have anyone helping me out. I feel like people are that I work with mad at me all the time for making them make food, running activities and cleaning up messes. Im not a strong person. I am not a natural leader. I don't feel the right to say anything ever-- it's my issue, not theirs. And I don't want to deal with my issues, I just want to go.  RIGHT NOW! 

---and what I think is the worst of this all is all I want to do is leave, and I have a boss who will listen to my problems, seek me our and ask me" what is going on with you today, and how can I make it better" who actually has that in life?! And why do I want to leave so badly this environment? 

Skip to me, timing is everything

It's when of those days where I have a lot of stuff to do at work, but somehow seem to continue to waste time, looking at skip's photos online. Amazed at how incredible they are, blown away by all the adventures he has experienced, and puzzled in how God is going to make this traveling boy be apart of my so-settled American life.

 I am really missing having a guy in my life. But this experience of faithfully waiting has made me now in a place where I don't want anyone to come into it who isn't skip. 

I really want to see him. Even if it's just a short visit, I'll gladly take a day or two, a few hours even. I want to laugh with him. I want to hear what is going on in his life,talk about the small things, hold his hand, remember that his is a real person. Not just this amazing friend from the past. 

I'll even take a FaceTime conversation, a Skype call, a Facebook chat... Anything really. I want him to reach out and acknowledge that we know each other. That he at least wants to reconnect in any form. 

I need to start making it my prayer that The Lord will connect us again. As much as I want it to be soon, I am wanting it more to be Gods way. Though I have become this person who is crazied with the "give-mes" right now ( I want to buy up EVERYTHING! new earrings, jeans, furniture, make-up, facewash, shoes etc. I want it all) my heart is different with skip.  I want my feeling to be put to the side and God works in this as he sees the way it is best. Both for skip and I, and the influence our relationship has on others. 

It's unique, it's hard, it's the best experience God could have me be doing right now. 

May God work super-naturally in me now and always and that though time is passing between skip and I connecting, that he will bond our hearts as he needs at this time. 

The weak and foolish

"Blog about this"

Is what I was going to save a draft of this scripture and come back to it and debrief the signaficance of it. But more often than not, I never go back, so I'm putting both the hike and Gideon bible study homework that I was debating about doing now and blogging about this first.

I grew up reading robin jones gunn books, she was my favorite author. She wrote the christy miller series which was about this girl who moved from Wisconsin to California-- meet all these super cool Christians, became one herself and though she had some dorky moments, she overall was really cool and it was cool/funny of her social whoops moments.  

Though I don't think there is anything wrong with these books, I think they have played a  big part into my perception I need to be this cool put together stylish, fun person before I can be this incredible Christian. That growing in Christ goes along with my improve social status.  And in that, you say things like, "I don't care if that's not cool, I am going to do that because I am following Christ" and whatever "uncool" thing you do is actually cool because YOU are cool. 

So I think that I need to be this super cool person in order to be bold in Christ, and I get so mad and annoyed when all of this super annoying, dumb, dense, lazy Christians are around me. I'm constantly thinking " why in the world did they get hired" " SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY, WHY are you DOING THAT?!""what?!? That doesn't make sense, how do you think that is logical?"  "You are talking and saying nothing for 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11......seconds" (this is my favorite, you get less angry because you are focused on counting than having to hear the dumb things coming out of their mouths) and there are lots LOTS of more of these thoughts. 

Typically, when I look at this verse and verses similar to this, I think about me. I am not always wise, I came from a somewhat humble beginning, God is making me better in him. I need to boast in The Lord.

  BUT! Instead, I need to think about all those people I have all of those ugly thoughts about. Instead of being so angry and mad, I need to see God working through them and their weaknesses. I can see in right in front of me, if I look. If I am really really honest, I wish I was the only person that God was working through my weakness and that everyone else had it really but together. But alas, that is not how God put it together,  I get to be in the same boat as everyone else and together we get to make a mess in our rowing, but hopefully moving in the direction that we oath to be going.  

Something BIG...

I'm pretty sure something big is going to be coming in my life soon and that The Lord is prepping me for it. I think the prep is in my "life of discipline"--getting out of student loan debt, being very intentional about reading the Bible, tithing, working out, attempting to get in shape, to sleep more, drink more water, to cut out excess sugar. 

Living a life of discipline isn't why I think my life is about to change, it's reading questions like this:

And having my heart's immediate responds be "for what God has planned next" -- I don't know what it is, I hope and want it to involve skip, but honestly, I don't think it will. I don't think there has been enough time, enough lessons on trusting The Lord to have that come my way soon. The Lord used LOOONG time gaps in his promises in the bible, right now, I'm only 3 years out from his promise that he gave me, and one of those years, I walked away from that promise, so I don't even know if that counts on the waiting scale. 

Something big is coming. I feel like March 2015 is the time. That's when I feel the NEED to be debt free, all my other goals kinda have time stamps on them, but "debt free by march 2015" is what I have a strong need to be. It doesn't mean anything actually, but I really feel the need to be debt free by then, and I think it is worth noting. I think God will work in that, even if I don't see it next march. 

I need to be ready, I need God to be my trainer, I need to be fine-tuned in him. AND I need to serve, love and grow to my fullest IN THIS SEASON. Even if it involves waiting. 

Blueberry picking

Today, 4 of us girls from camp went out and did some blueberry picking at a farm right down the mountain from us. 

It was the best!! There is a guy that hosts you while you are there, and he was one of the coolest people I have meet. He looked a lot like Skip's younger brother. He taught you so much about blueberries, his life, his vast knowledge of bugs, the farming business. He was really cool, and his blueberries tasted amazing! 

It was also a triumph because 4 of us who work together did this together. We haven't had a staff where you wanted to do stuff together in the past. And that we were able to do this today was a big deal. One of the girls was my new roommate, though we are VERY different, we have been getting along really well, and I really enjoyed doing things like this with her. 

Good day!

San Diego fire

If you have been watching the news at all, you know that their were 9 fires that broke out yesterday in S.California . None of which are a threat to me and my home as of right now. But a huge threat to the community where my life is outside of camp. My women's bible study was closed today-- due to fire. I been watching the news. It's scary seeing the fames engulf all of this beautiful land. It doesn't seem real, I don't even know how to pray. I don't know that many people "down the hill" but I really hope they are okay, that there things are okay. I hope these fires this week, don't make my community forever ugly. Strange thought I know, but it makes me sick to know that the woods I live in are still ugly from a fire that took place at least 5 years ago. It's scary, some say these fires were started by arson-- I keep getting these flash images in my head of guys with HUGE guns in front of me seeking to make havoc here and start another fire as well. 

It's scary, really scary. I hope it doesn't make it up to where I live, that's too scary to handle. 

 

God's rebuttal to my last post "cannot handle this"

I was real real and real ugly in my last post. If you read it, it's all about placing blame on them. And though, the things I say were true, I did not give an accurate picture of the situation to myself or to you. 

The real issue is my pride. The issue is I think what I am doing is more important than what else is going on at camp. 

This was one of the pages I work on tonight on my Gideon workbook. It hit me hard, I have a huge pride issue. HUGE! And I really need to stop thinking of myself as the shit (sorry for the profane, but any substitute word really doesn't do this phase justice) and acknowledge this

Because that is true.... That is the truth. It can't be said any other way. But this is the sting that stayed with me after writing that last statement: 

And honestly, I don't know! Some people really suck, some people truly can't do any job I give them even close to being right. 

It may be a body of Christ thing, where there part just isn't able to do what is asked, it might be an issue that they are working on: lazyness, self-control, obedience, listening etc... 

It may be an the devils foothold in my life, "let's take Becky, and surround her with incapable people, so she has no choice than to feel superior than others." Or everyone else feels like they are better than me, and  intentionally leave all their crap work for me to do for them, because they think I have nothing better to do than care for their needs. 

Whatever it is, it starts with me, and my heart. I should become a master of time management so I am able to do all of these things and not feel pissed that I have so much. I should pray for God to stretch out my day and make it so I am able to accomplish everything I need to do for him, in the allotted time I have for that --each day. I should take out the amount of time I spend brewing anger towards my co-workers, and instead use that to work. 

This sounds do-able, but if I am really honest, I don't see this actually working. But I need to try, I need to give God the ability to work in and through this situation. It may be a huge part of the process of surrendering fully to God.  

Cannot handle this!

It makes me really really mad when people aren't respectful of my time, expect me to act like their mother(adults only, I can mother kids--because they are children) and not take care of their responsibilities and leave them for me to take care of it. Today was a day filled with that and I am royally pissed off about it. 

Seriously, what is wrong with people?! I have a huge job, why is it that people come to me constantly asking for office supplies?! Ask the girl who orders the supplies! Why do people ask me about their time cards? Ask the person who does payroll and who you turn your time card INTO! Why are people stumping around the office with manure filled shoes, why am I the one left to vacuum it up? Why is it that the outdoor education staff make themselves unavailable and almost everyone of their people come to me and I get to be asked all their questions. 

I am really mad and I am sick of how I am treated. I don't want to babysit this program camp that has 7 or more staff working it, when I have my own job to do that already takes over 40 hours a week to do it well. 

I don't want to be surrounded by people who really bother me and take advantage of me. 

I'm kinda done with all this crap. How do I fix this issue i am in? 

I wish I had answers, because I hate being this pissed off all the time! 

Viewpoints on life and marriage

Though I haven't posted on this lately, I have been thinking a lot about how incredible it will be when God puts skip and me together in his timing. I often the one who initiates conversation between the two of us, and decided that I need to lethim initiate conversation. It's been quiet. But it's okay that it is quiet. 

Skip's life is traveling the world and capturing stories of how lives are changed by missionaries who are placed in all of these places, he also goes to events and works the tech and video side of things going on there. It's incredible. I am so curious of how this already well-put together guy I knew well 4 years ago has been incredibly changed and matured even more since that time. I want to know how the Holy Spirit has worked in and changed his life through all these incredible experiences. I want to know the wisdom and understanding he has gotten from God via all these travels.

I don't even have a passport. I have never been out of the US. And though we have incrediblely different lives, I know deep inside The Lord is going to use the differences in in our life experienes in big ways. And though, I have no desire to be along side him right now, and have peace staying in the US. I have been so jealous of those girls who are traveling with him. Having these experiences along his side. In my head, one of these girls should be the perfect match for them. I see their pictures online, they are typically those naturally cute girls. The ones who don't have to shower, never wear make-up and let their hair air dry and somehow look better than me after spending so much time getting ready for the day, each day. They are the girls who (I'm sure) never get moody, always show love,always know how to respond and act to situations, and are always fun to be around. These girls, are who I struggle with. That, and the fear that skip may never change his mind and always want to be single for the rest of his days. 

Tangent over:

This was on his Facebook today, it's impactful. It's written by a heart that I would love to marry, and ironically it's about the pain of forcing marriage on young teens.. 

In Ghana, I witnessed a young girl being taken against her will to be married. This experience has made me unsettled and disturbed for the past few weeks and when I heard about the 200 Nigerian girls who were sold as brides, I felt the need to share this story.

We were driving on a dirt road in a tribal area in the north and we passed a guy on a motorbike who had stopped on the side of the road because he was struggling with a girl who was riding with him. Our driver, who is a Ghanaian worker with OM, immediately stopped the car and got out to see what the situation was. While I was sitting in the car watching the commotion unfold, I saw the girl. She was struggling to get away from the man. She couldn’t have been older than 13. After 5 minutes, our driver told me get come take video and pictures of the situation. So I walk over and now am 3 feet away, up close and personal to a man who is taking this girl against her will to be married in another tribe. The girl was in a state of hysteria. She kept her arm covering her eyes and was crying out the same 2 words over and over. For the entire time we were there, 40 minutes, she was in a state of delirium. Then, our driver took the man’s motorbike keys in hopes to get more answers. The man admitted that the girl was being taken for marriage to a boy around her age but its not uncommon for young girls to be married to much older men. The detailed beadwork in her hair and the jewelry she was wearing signifies that she was prepared beforehand by somebody, possibly her parents. Other scenarios such as kidnapping are possible but whatever the case, she was going against her will and was fighting to get away. Child marriage is illegal in Ghana but there were no police anywhere nearby to help. Our only choice was to give the keys back to the man and watch him drive off. Our driver called another OM worker to intercept the man in a nearby town for further engagement but the man never drove by. 

I’ve been struggling with this experience. What is wrong? What is normal? My western culture is screaming “WRONG, INJUSTICE, OPPRESSION,” and so on but it was clear that the man had no conviction about taking the girl because in his eyes, it was normal. Yes, all cultures have broken traits so is this man’s culture just another example of a “wrong” trait? Is child marriage wrong? Maybe what makes it wrong is that the girl is not being loved and valued as a human being in the way that Jesus taught us to love one another.

So how do you tell a people group, who have accepted forced child marriage as being normal for countless generations, that what they’re doing is wrong? The girl’s captor must have been thinking, “Why is this guy making a big deal over a girl? Why is today so different than other day of taking girls to their new husbands?” 

And thats where the Gospel comes in. That day was different because the man’s encounter was with a follower of Jesus - somebody who radically loves and values all people. What will it take to mend this culture’s generationally broken condition? The answer is Christ; the shining light of Jesus into the darkness. What’s it going to take for this cultural revolution ball to get rolling? This question leads to a dilemma I have been struggling with these past few days: the concept of “raising awareness.” What is the point of putting this girl’s photo on social media as to raise awareness if the only outcome is that I get a few “likes” and some “I’m heartbroken” comments because the truth is that to stop forced child marriage from happening requires action from people who are capable of praying, giving and going. 

Pray for her. You’ve seen her now and know a little of her story. Intercede on her behalf. Pray for her husband and her community, that Jesus’ message of hope and truth would resound. Give generously to ministries that are dedicated to sharing God’s love to the lost. OM Ghana is supporting a few pastors who have church plants in remote villages. Consider financially supporting this ministry. And lastly, prayerfully consider going. The truth is that to see cultural shifts will cost somebody their life: a life devoted to lifelong discipleship.

How amazing would it be to see a culture, who for generations sold their daughters as child brides, now condemn it because one person came and told them that Jesus loves and values all people!?

Understanding a bit of God and expectations of him

The question above the star question is what you need to read. This is what I did in my homework last week for Bible study and this answer hit home for me. God allowed me to speak and understand truth in our relationship and who he is. 

I am still working in and through things that I have talked about before. It hasn't magically gone away yet. But, slowly it's morphing; new questions, slow growth, releasing of fear.